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Jewish World Review Feb. 21, 2005 / 12 Adar I, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
San Francisco Giants superstar Barry Bonds, it was announced
Friday, will miss several weeks of spring training due to a knee
operation. It was unexpected. Doctors rushed him into surgery when
tests showed he had blood in his steroid stream.
Chris Rock said Sunday he can host the Oscars without
cussing. No one trusts him. The network just fired the woman who
was going to sign for the deaf on the bottom right of the screen
and replaced her with a health film about body functions.
National Hockey League labor talks were reported Friday to
have been revived by Mario Lemieux and Wayne Gretzky. A lot of
people really enjoy hockey. The game is so violent that no one can
understand how O.J. Simpson wound up in football.
Hillary Clinton visited Iraq with John McCain Sunday to
witness the progress of democracy. The battle for power could get
ugly. When a local mayor told the crowd they were in the presence
of the next president both senators stood and waved.
The White House named the modest and self-effacing diplomat
John Negroponte to be our first Director of National Intelligence.
He refuses to promote himself. This is a trait believed in Los
Angeles to be the first sign of clinical depression.
North Korea threatened South Korea with destruction Thursday
if they aid the U.S. They said their missiles could destroy the
Hyundai factory in Seoul in ten minutes. So this could be the
first war in history that saved lives in the long run.
Michael Jackson was cheered Friday by crowds bused in from
Hollywood at the singer's expense. Sitcoms hire groups like these
as studio audiences. It's a little known secret that everybody
loves Raymond because everybody is paid to love Raymond.
Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean told a cheering crowd
in Washington D.C. Saturday he hates the Republican Party. The
flag is up. The Democrats wanted a take-charge guy who isn't
afraid to solve problems and Robert Blake was unavailable.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton |