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Jewish World Review Feb. 10, 2003 / 18 Shevat, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | . Michael Jackson will not get a televised hearing when he appears in court this week on child molestation charges, a judge ruled Friday. It's an old problem. They ran Michael Jackson out of the Boy Scouts when he developed a pack-a-day habit.

John Kerry won in Michigan Saturday by playing up his personal history. He's a very wealthy guy who married a stupendously wealthy heiress. If you think our Middle East policy was a mess before, wait until we elect a guy who lives like a Shah.

President Bush asked to appear on Meet the Press Sunday. He was taped a day ahead. After what happened at the Super Bowl, the networks will never again air anybody live if there's a chance there is something they want to get off their chest.

President Bush asserted strongly on Meet the Press that Iraq was a terrorist threat. He will not allow America to be attacked by weapons of mass murder. Even Democrats agree that somebody has to be alive to pay taxes when Baby Boomers retire.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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