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Jewish World Review Feb. 5, 2003 / 13 Shevat, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Joe Lieberman dropped out of the presidential race on Tuesday night. He just doesn't have any personality. The night before Tuesday's primaries he posted his credit card and his Social Security number online and nobody stole his identity.

Iran may agree to receive the first official United States delegation in twenty-five years this month. The country lives under harsh fundamentalist Muslim law. The number-one television show in Iran is Eight Simple Rules for Purchasing My Daughter.

Jennifer Lopez made the cover of People with an article on the breakup of her Hollywood romance with Ben Affleck. He had to get out of the relationship before it destroyed him. He loved her so much he was beginning to lose interest in his car.

The Super Bowl was reported Tuesday to be the week's most- watched show among children from age two to five. It's just not safe for kids to watch television anymore. Today's episode of Sesame Street is being brought to you by the letters T and A.

The Grammy Awards will be broadcast with a delay Sunday to edit any Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake moments. There was a time when pop singers wouldn't think of tearing off the front pockets of each other's shirts. It might spill the cocaine.

CIA Director George Tenet was reported Tuesday to be keeping his job despite the Iraq fiasco. No one's calling for him to be fired— not the president, not the press, not Congress and not the Senate. Every year at Christmas the big question around Washington D.C. is, what do you get for the man who has something on everybody?

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2002, Argus Hamilton