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Jewish World Review Feb. 3, 2003 / 11 Shevat, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | New England Patriots kicker Adam Vinatieri won the Super Bowl with a last-second field goal Sunday. He's the nephew of Evel Knievel and the great-grandson of a survivor of Custer's last stand. John Kerry can't be too happy because Adam Vinatieri is genetically pre-disposed to voting for Howard Dean.

Joe Lieberman was endorsed by two newspaper editors in South Carolina Sunday as well as by the editors of the Seattle Times and the Arizona Republic. Joe Lieberman is smart and honest and moral. Editors have no idea what sells newspapers.

Howard Dean barely scraped up enough money to compete in today's primaries since his campaign is dead broke. He sounds desperate for hard cash. In his latest onstage rant, he shouts out the names of Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant, and Franklin.

John Kerry said Sunday he gave back a donation to Taiwanese- American donor Johnny Ching Chiang Chung in 1996. He helped a lot of Democrats raise money back then. Democrats adored Johnny Ching Chiang Chung because even his name sounds like a cash register.

The Mars Rover program Sunday got a public relations boost as the Lego model of the Mars Rover hit toy stores nationwide. The model is priced to fit within most children's allowance. That's twice these kids will be paying for this program.

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