Jewish World Review Feb. 14, 2003 / 12 Adar I, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Saudi Arabia was the scene of a huge religious ceremony
Wednesday as millions of Muslims marched in a circle at Mecca. It
got ugly. Fourteen people were trampled trying to beat the holiday
rush to get out of the Arab world before President's Day.
British Airways offered its lowest fares in history
Wednesday. They will fly you to London from anywhere in the United
States for two hundred dollars. They would pay you more, but they
don't want to follow United Airlines into bankruptcy.
Saddam Hussein vehemently denied any links to al-Qaeda
Wednesday after Osama bin Laden's audiotape called for support for
Iraq. The dictator may be telling the truth. When Osama's tape
came out, Saddam Hussein called Dick Cheney and asked for the name
of a good cardiologist.
The White House was ringed with anti-aircraft batteries
Wednesday after the Orange Alert was declared. Everyone's jittery.
These days in Washington, if you are overheard ordering a couple
of Stingers, you'd better be talking to a bartender.
Homeland Security issued a bulletin on terrorism
preparedness Monday. The next day, stores sold out of duct tape
and plastic. Just think of the crash that could have been averted
if they had told Americans to keep a three-day supply of Enron stock.
CIA Director George Tenet said Wednesday North Korea can
reach the West Coast with nuclear-tipped missiles. In case of an
attack, people in Los Angeles are instructed to take shelter at
Universal Studios. They haven't had a hit in decades.
George Tenet conceded Wednesday that North Korea's Los
Angeles missile is still not tested. Hopefully it works. When it
bounces off the smog and sinks a cruise ship ready for boarding,
this could be the first war in history that saved lives in the long run.
Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
please click here.
02/13/03
02/12/03
02/11/03
02/10/03
02/07/03
02/06/03
02/05/03
02/04/03
02/03/03
01/31/03
01/30/03
01/29/03
01/28/03
01/27/03
01/24/03
01/23/03
01/22/03
01/21/03
01/17/03
01/16/03
01/15/03
01/14/03
01/13/03
01/10/03
01/09/03
01/08/03
01/07/03
01/06/03
01/03/03
01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
12/31/02
12/30/02
12/27/02
12/26/02
12/24/02
12/23/02
12/20/02
12/19/02
12/18/02
12/17/02
12/16/02
12/13/02
12/12/02
12/11/02
12/10/02
12/09/02
12/06/02
12/05/02
12/04/02
12/03/02
12/02/02
11/27/02
11/26/02
11/25/02
11/22/02
11/21/02
11/20/02
11/19/02
11/18/02
11/15/02
11/14/02
11/13/02
11/12/02
11/11/02
11/08/02
11/07/02
11/06/02
11/05/02
11/04/02
11/01/02
10/31/02
10/30/02
10/29/02
10/28/02
10/25/02
10/24/02
10/23/02
10/22/02
10/21/02
10/18/02
10/17/02
10/16/02
10/15/02
10/14/02
10/11/02
10/10/02
10/09/02
10/08/02
10/07/02
10/04/02
10/03/02
10/02/02
10/01/02
09/30/02
09/27/02
09/26/02
09/25/02
09/24/02
09/23/02
09/20/02
09/19/02
09/18/02
09/17/02
09/13/02
09/12/02
09/10/02
09/09/02
09/07/02
09/06/02
09/04/02
09/03/02
08/30/02
08/29/02
08/28/02
08/27/02
08/26/02
08/23/02
08/22/02
08/21/02
08/20/02
08/19/02
08/16/02
08/15/02
08/14/02
08/13/02
08/12/02
08/09/02
08/08/02
08/07/02
08/06/02
08/05/02
08/02/02
08/01/02
07/31/02
07/30/02
07/29/02
07/26/02
07/25/02
07/24/02
07/23/02
07/22/02
07/19/02
07/18/02
07/17/02
07/16/02
07/12/02
07/11/02
07/10/02
07/09/02
07/08/02
07/05/02
07/04/02
07/03/02
07/02/02
07/01/02
06/28/02
06/27/02
06/26/02
06/25/02
06/24/02
06/21/02
06/20/02
06/19/02
06/18/02
06/17/02
06/14/02
06/13/02
06/12/02
06/11/02
06/10/02
06/07/02
06/06/02
06/05/02
06/04/02
06/03/02
05/31/02
05/30/02
05/29/02
05/28/02
05/24/02
05/23/02
05/22/02
05/21/02
05/20/02
05/19/02
05/16/02
05/15/02
05/14/02
05/13/02
05/10/02
05/09/02
05/08/02
05/07/02
05/06/02
05/03/02
05/02/02
05/01/02
04/30/02
04/29/02
04/26/02
04/25/02
04/24/02
04/23/02
04/22/02
04/19/02
04/18/02
04/16/02
04/15/02
04/12/02
04/10/02
04/09/02
04/08/02
04/02/02
04/01/02
03/31/02
03/27/02
03/26/02
03/25/02
03/22/02
03/21/02
03/20/02
03/19/02
03/18/02
03/15/02
03/14/02
03/13/02
03/12/02
03/11/02
03/08/02
03/07/02
03/06/02
03/05/02
03/04/02
03/01/02
02/28/02
© 2002, Argus Hamilton
|