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July 7th, 2022

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Jan. 24, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
The Baltimore Sun reports there is a public controversy brewing around a Maryland hospital that allowed doctors to transplant a pig's heart into a dying former state convict, saving his life. Critics said the operation was unethical. I believe it's only ethical if the doctors ate the rest of the pig.

The Wall Street Journal said Biden's troubles make a Hillary Clinton run for president likely in 2024. She always has a fresh scandal to erase. Last year when Hillary heard how many times Bill has flown to Epstein Island, she got so mad at him she made him move from the couch to the bed.

Prince Andrew High School in a town in Nova Scotia has reportedly opted to change its name following the Duke's disgrace over alleged past sex with seventeen-year-old girls. The charge has changed his public image. Now three Los Angeles high schools are scheduled to be named after him.

The Mercantile Exchange reported Thursday that the price of oil skyrocketed to eighty-seven dollars a barrel over border tension between Russia and Ukraine. That raises the price of everything even further. It had a feeling inflation was getting out of hand yesterday while I was at the 99 Dollar Store.

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NBC released a poll Thursday which found that President Biden's support among Democrats has dropped steeply in the last few months among women voters, black voters and Hispanic voters. It's not all doom and gloom at the White House. Last night President Biden put up the Valentine Tree.

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg got AT&T and Verizon to hold off on 5G towers near runways to prevent flight interference. Polls show Pete is the most popular person in the Biden Administration, but that's not saying much. It's like having the best set of teeth on a Greyhound Bus.

President Biden alarmed Europe by downplaying U.S. reaction to any minor Russian incursion into Ukraine before reporters. He startled Democrats by openly questioning the legitimacy of U.S. elections. Apparently Joe's having such a bad time as president even HE's claiming that Trump won.

House Democrats ripped Senate Democrats Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema for blocking Biden's voting rights bill. It allows mail-in voting. If the 1960 presidential election had allowed mailed-in ballots, Chicago's Mayor Daley would have defeated both Nixon and Kennedy in a landslide.

Jon Stewart it was announced Friday will be the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for Humor this December. The award presented at the John F. Kennedy Honors in Washington. To me Jack Kennedy will always be our greatest president, because he took on Marilyn despite his back problems.

Border Patrol agents complained Thursday they're forced to be the Welcome Patrol by White House policies. They spend more time processing arrivals than guarding the border. Central American migrants are reportedly furious that Texas is building a border wall, but they'll get over it.

President Biden hosted an epic White House press conference Wednesday that ran two hours long. Afterwards it was reported to have been the longest presidential press conference in history. As hour three approached, I began to wonder which one was going to peter out first, Joe or Omicron.

President Biden received no questions about the soaring crime rates in major U.S. cities. Many blame it on early prisoner release granted by progressive district attorneys. Three times this past year I was released from Facebook jail and, judging by my jokes, I clearly have not been rehabilitated.

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