July 7th, 2022


Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Jan. 20, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
The Supreme Court on Tuesday refused to hear a case that challenged the requirement for all airline passengers to wear a mask during commercial flights. The masks come in very handy when taking transportation in Los Angeles. It's only twelve noon and I've already robbed three trains today.

The University of Texas football anthem The Eyes of Texas is under siege by the cancel culture for being racist. The lyrics certainly aren't racist. I guess it's because the song is sung to the tune of I've Been Working on the Railroad, which could be construed as a slave song, if sung in Mandarin.

The White House reported plans to send half a billion testing kits to Americans Monday while urging weekly testing even if you have no symptoms. That's silly. Those without symptoms who get tested every week to see if they're sick should go by the cemetery every week to see if they are dead.

Australia deported anti-vaxxer Novak Djokovic rather than allow him to defend his Australian Open title. Critics call it Covid tyranny, with its strict proof of vaccination laws. Until two years ago if you asked an Australian for his papers he'd pull out a pack of Zig Zags and roll one up for you.

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Novak Djokovic's deportation from Australia Tuesday sparked a vaccination discussion across the sports world. Nike announced they will fire employees who are not vaccinated. For Nike, that is totally unfair to most of their workforce, who are under the age of five and too young to get the shot.

The White House is set to buy the brand-new safe Covid masks for every American. The masks are good for only two days and sold to the U.S. by China, who gave us the virus in the first place. Whether this is horrible or brilliant depends on whether you majored in Arts and Science or Business.

Vladimir Putin accelerated tensions in Europe over the weekend by announcing that Russia, as a military preparatory drill, is going to stage a fake attack on itself. Intelligence sources say they got the idea from Jussie Smollett. They are just waiting for the Subway franchise to be approved.

President Biden scheduled a live televised White House press conference Tuesday to mark that he's been president for one year. And thanks to inflation, it seems like three years. Biden likes to be compared to FDR, who also told 75% of Americans to take a shot, but he had to end Prohibition to do it.

The Gallup Poll reported a fourteen point voter swing going from seven percent advantage for Democrats to a seven percent advantage Republicans. Twenty-eight House Democrats plan to step down. Gallup's 2024 preference poll has both Biden and Trump trailing Giant Meteor by thirty points.