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In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 5, 2021

Rogue Report

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Welcome back for the conclusion of our annual Year in Jokes.

NOVEMBER — The Wall Street Journal published an Election Day forecast predicting that the victory margin in Tuesday's presidential election would be razor-thin. I just found out that my uncle in Chicago, a lifelong Republican, voted Democrat yesterday. This would never have happened if he were still alive.

President Trump is banking on a Wisconsin recount and fraudulent votes being subtracted in Pennsylvania, Nevada and Arizona to win. His electoral count has remained stalled since last Tuesday. I hate to say it, but it looks like the only way Trump can get to 270 is if he loses forty pounds.

Joe Biden was called the winner by the AP thanks to the surge of mail-in votes which came in after Tuesday and flipped the Swing States from Trump to Biden. And that's not all. The Vatican might nominate Joe Biden for sainthood for raising millions of people from the dead on Election Day.

President Trump was reported Friday refusing to give any security briefings to any team from an incoming Biden administration until Trump's legal challenges to the election have been exhausted. And it won't end there. Alec Baldwin is still refusing to concede the election to Jim Carrey.

The Department of Transportation reported half the number of Americans will be flying off to meet with families for Thanksgiving as they did last year, the other half will be grudgingly staying home, as ordered. I still don't know what I'll be wearing to the living room on Thanksgiving. I might not go.

President Trump opted not to return to Florida for Thanksgiving Thursday. My first trip back to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving was in 1978. I'd lived in L.A. for two years and it showed. While I was in the kitchen helping Mom prepare dinner, she noticed I was chopping the onions with a credit card.

DECEMBER — The National Retail Federation dismissed consumer Covid fears and predicted a huge holiday shopping season between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Retailers are preparing. WalMart stores announced they will be closed on Christmas Day so that both cashiers can be home with their families.

The House of Representatives passed a bill legalizing marijuana that may not pass the Senate but it indicated that federal marijuana laws will not be enforced against states that legalize pot. So today, marijuana is legal, but haircuts are not. It took fifty years but the Hippies have finally won.

Pfizer's Covid vaccine was approved by a panel of experts on Thursday who recommended its FDA approval this week. The White House reminded everyone that four other Covid vaccines are nearing approval as well. I will probably go with whichever vaccine has the funniest Super Bowl ad.

The Supreme Court was asked to throw out the ballots in Georgia, Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Their mail-in rules weren't legislature-approved as required. If the Supreme Court hears the case they may have to decide who won the presidential election, the Chinese or the Russians.

Los Angeles restaurant owners were on the verge of mutiny Monday vowing to re-open. One restaurant in the West Valley offers you $50 if they can't provide you ANY food that you order, so I ordered elephant's testicles on toast, and they brought me a fifty-dollar bill. They'd run out of bread.

The CDC told Americans to be careful holding holiday gatherings this month with the recent spike in infections, but one state went overboard. Oregon just banned all family get-togethers for Christmas. So if you're cooking anything in Oregon, it had better be meth, or you're breaking the law.


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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


© 2020, Argus Hamilton

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