|
|
|
Jewish World Review Jan. 27, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The DNC will reschedule the debates around the Senate trial. We're in the home stretch. The following months will see Bernie, Biden, Liz and Pete take to the stage and, over the course of multiple debates, convince the American people that four more years of Donald might not be so bad.
• President Trump returned to Washington D.C. after two days in Davos, Switzerland where he attended the World Economic Forum at the ski resort. Pledging to aid the environment, Trump promised the forum he'll plant a trillion trees. CNN heard that and accused Trump of treeson.
• House prosecution trial managers delivered the same points to the Senate for three days before the defense lawyers do the same thing. Is there a mercy rule in politics? The Senate trial is only a few days old, and already Americans feel like we know what it must have been like to be a hostage in Iran.
• House Democratic case managers wrapped up twenty-four hours of impeachment case presentation against President Trump. Yet even when he's likely acquitted, we haven't heard the last of these guys. Adam Schiff has got evidence against Trump so secret he hasn't even made up yet.
• Fox News switched to regular programming with updates on the Senate trial after terrible ratings during the first day of full coverage. House Democrats just introduced their own brand of Russian vodka to celebrate their impeachment case against President Trump. It's zero proof.
• Democrat candidate Tulsi Gabbard filed a lawsuit against Hillary Clinton in federal court for defamation of character for calling her a Russian agent in an interview. The legal brief in Tulsi's lawsuit against Hillary is twenty pages long. It could be the longest suicide note ever written.
• President Trump addressed the World Economic Forum meeting in Switzerland Tuesday. The president gave his commitment to the environment by promising to plant one trillion trees. He's already started by planting Jeb Bush and Al Gore, maybe Elizabeth Warren can be the first Sequoia.
• The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas will host the AVN Awards Saturday, giving out porn acting and production awards. An industry survey said Jenna Jameson is the world's top earning porn star who made thirty million dollars. Only Jeff Bezos made more money handling packages last year.
• The U.S. Senate sat in session Tuesday with everyone required to sit at rapt attention for twelve long hours. The younger senators couldn't go on social media and the older senators couldn't get up to go pee. Just twelve years, ago we were denouncing Dick Cheney for torturing people like this.
• The Senate impeachment trial proceeded Tuesday as Americans became educated on Senate Chamber rules. We learned that senators are only allowed to drink water or milk when they're in the chamber. After years, this finally explains Senator Teddy Kennedy's high rate of absenteeism.
• President Trump surprised critics at his press conference by cheerfully offering to attend his Senate impeachment trial. The gesture is totally in character. Congress impeached Trump for abuse of power, obstruction of Congress and for shaking his hips on the Ed Sullivan Show.
• Joe Biden's brother and daughter and son's business government deals were exposed in a new book Sunday. Mayor Pete told a black crowd he prefers Popeye's chicken. The near-hate tension between Elizabeth Warren and Bernie is so high their Secret Service code names are Bill and Hillary.
Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
=
© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
