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Jewish World Review Jan 21, 2013 / 10 Shevat, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
President Obama's inaugural parade today will include a float that features eight Americans whose lives he improved. It should be quite a parade. They include a gay Air Force pilot, a brain tumor survivor, a civil rights worker, and the entire gun industry.
Smith and Wesson stock soared on Wall Street as Americans flocked to gun stores all week. The threatened ban caused the sales. The good news is, President Obama has sold so many guns that he's just won a free trip to Hawaii, saving taxpayers a ton of money.
Nissan dropped the price of its all-electric Leaf by six thousand dollars Friday to try to generate demand. No one wants them. These things will never sell until a carload of children are killed in one and Presdent Obama tries to ban electric cars by executive order.
WalMart announced plans Friday to hire a hundred thousand U.S. veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars to work in the stores. It's defensive decision. If the president decides to confiscate all guns, WalMart will have its own militia to protect the inventory.
President Obama authorized doctors to question patients about guns they own and where they keep them. They'll learn nothing. According to medical records no one in this country drinks or uses drugs, and they exercise twenty minutes a day, three times a week.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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