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Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2011 / 9 Shevat, 5771 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Weather Channel reported Thursday that it was snowing in forty-nine states for the first time in history, even including Mauna Kea mountain on Hawaii's big island. Florida is the only state without fresh snow. They like to age the cocaine for flavor.
Barack Obama angered people in both Britain and the U.S. Wednesday when he told Nicolas Sarkozy that the U.S. has no better friend than France. Britain fights with us in Afghanistan but France needs our help with their food prices. The reason Obama's a Democrat is because he only likes people who need, not people who fight.
Tucson shooter Jared Loughner retained the Unabomber's defense attorney Monday, who'll likely enter a plea of insanity for her client. There are no firm rules or laws as to who's sane and who's insane. The definition is made by the people with the key.
The White House was reported Wednesday to have lost eighty million dollars in real estate value since the crash. It's worth a quarter billion dollars now. It'd be worth a billion but the neighborhood's so bad the occupants have to send their children to private school. The American Bar Association reported Monday that the recession has resulted in fifteen thousand fewer lawyers in the U.S. They haven't disappeared. Yesterday at McDonald's the cashier at the drive-thru window spilled coffee on my lap, then offered to represent me.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton |
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