Jewish World Review Jan. 9, 2007 / 19 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Ohio State played Florida for the BCS Championship in Phoenix on Monday. The schools and advertisers and host city made millions. The players looked across the border at Mexico and dreamed of someday living in a country that would pay them.
Lindsay Lohan missed her movie shoot on Thursday when she checked into a Los Angeles hospital for emergency surgery to have her appendix removed. Hollywood's concerned about her. The appendix only did ten million dollars its first weekend out.
The Weather Channel reported that high winds hit Los Angeles Friday, causing power lines to go down. The wind gusts were unbelievable. At two o'clock in the morning the hair was blown off the roof of the William Shatner Theater on Ventura Boulevard.
HBO boxing commentator Jim Lampley was arrested for spousal abuse Monday. His girlfriend said he violated a restraining order and attacked her. If convicted he could be interviewing Mike Tyson morning, noon and night for the next seven years.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi took the gavel Thursday vowing she would clean up Congress. She then went to a huge Democratic party fundraiser starring Tony Bennett and attended by two hundred lobbyists. When Democrats promise to clean up, they don't waste any time.
Business Week said Friday American drivers could see lower prices at the gas pump following oil's plunge to fifty-six dollars a barrel. That's very good news for Californians. Our idea of carpooling is one guy in the car on a conference call.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton