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Jewish World Review Jan. 27, 2005 / 17 Shevat, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Robert Blake, at his murder trial Monday, disclosed how
close he was to Johnny Carson. It's the kind of name-dropping that
can sway a jury. Osama bin Laden just released a tape conceding
that nobody could bring down the house like Johnny Carson.
The Bob Hope Desert Classic begins today in Palm Springs
with an opening tee shot by honorary chairman Jerry Ford. Weekend
golfers can relate to him. Jerry Ford once recorded a zero on a
par-three when he missed the ball and sank the divot.
The Philadelphia Eagles poured a bucket of ice-cold Gatorade
over coach Andy Reid's head Sunday even though it was ten below
zero. He had to love it. What sports figure doesn't dream of being
mentioned in the same sentence as Ted Williams?
Donald Trump married Melania Knauss in Palm Beach on
Saturday. The honeymoon was a real bust. They sat down to watch
their celebrity guests describe every detail of their wedding on
talk shows and all they saw were clips of Johnny Carson.
Hillary Clinton spoke to a pro-choice rally in Albany Monday
held in response to a pro-life march in Washington D.C. She said
she's interested in reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies.
She's been pressuring Bill to date older women.
House Ways and Means Chairman Bill Thomas offered his own
ideas Sunday for reforming Social Security. He suggested lower
payments for women, early retirement for blacks, and nursing home
taxes. There are fewer poison pills in Ukrainian presidential candidates.
Arizona was authorized Monday to enforce its new law
requiring people to show proof of citizenship to vote. Illegal
aliens were suspected of voting. During the last campaign John
McCain tried to convince everybody that the scar on his cheek was
the Mark of Zorro.
Bill Clinton videotaped greetings Monday to thirteen
Philadelphia restaurants holding a UNICEF fund-raiser. He wants to
become U.N. Secretary-General. He's tired of having to pay three
hundred dollars every time he wants to park in the red zone.
The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln is a controversial new
biography about America's sixteenth president. It cites evidence
indicating that Abe Lincoln was gay. You knew it had to be
something because he obviously was not into bondage.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton |