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Jewish World Review Jan. 25, 2005 / 15 Shevat, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Houston Astros signed pitcher Roger Clemens for eighteen
million dollars on Friday. They pay Jeff Bagwell seventeen
million. Oil company profits are so high that Houston feels
obliged to nurture a middle class just for appearances sake.
The Cartoon Network agreed Tuesday to run commercials
warning children about the dangers of gambling. It can be
addictive. Pete Rose once played twenty-one for eight hours and
didn't get hit with a blackjack until he got to the parking lot.
The World Health Organization warned Saturday that Bird Flu
is set to spread worldwide. A pandemic is certain. The health
police are advising Americans to eat the same amount of chicken
you normally would, just be sure you don't enjoy it.
Howard Dean campaigned for party chairman Friday and warned
Democrats not to act like Republicans. The warning wasn't
necessary. Until you see a Democrat at an abstinence-from-anything
rally there will be no mistaking one party for the other.
Prime Minister Tony Blair hired Bill Clinton's pollster Mark
Penn to advise his campaign. It is no secret why. Tony Blair will
do anything to keep Great Britain from being drafted into a war
against Iran, so he hired somebody who can explain draft evasion.
Austrian politicians said Saturday Arnold Schwarzenegger's
citizenship in his native Austria should be revoked. They are
upset he approved the death penalty for a convicted killer. What
do they expect, his nickname was never the Rejuvenator.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton |