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Jewish World Review Jan. 10, 2005 / 29 Teves, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Los Angeles had more rainstorms Friday creating havoc on
hillsides. Malibu's best restaurant, Geoffrey's, became buried in
mud. It took hours for firefighters to get all the customers out
because the mud was doing wonders for everybody's skin.
The Texas Longhorns were set Friday to sign the best
recruiting class in the nation. Much is at stake. Mack Brown just
signed to coach at Texas for ten years and Oklahoma Sooner
boosters are under investigation for donating to the salary fund.
The CIA Inspector General report which leaked Friday said
George Tenet didn't do enough to prevent 9-11. The agency was
founded sixty years ago with a mandate to prevent another Pearl
Harbor. To be fair to George Tenet, the terrorists never got near Hawaii.
Hillary Clinton's former finance director was indicted
Friday. He tricked up the numbers so she would have hundreds of
thousands of dollars more than she really had. He should not be
indicted, he should be put in charge of Social Security reform.
Treasury Secretary John Snow pushed Social Security reform
on Friday. Future benefits are very much at risk. Ten years from
now baby boomers may have to watch the news every evening to find
out which lucky Social Security numbers were drawn today.
John Kerry flew to Syria Friday before heading to the West
Bank Sunday for the Palestinian election. The situation is so
dangerous. If John Kerry can teach anybody in the region to lose
graciously it could cause defense stocks to plummet.
The Mercedes Championship begins the PGA Tour this week in
Maui. Many holes run along the scenic and rugged coastline. The
golfers may not be taking a full swing at the ball because these
days you don't want to turn your back on the ocean.
The Consumer Electronics Show opened in Las Vegas with all
the latest gadgets on display. The casinos hate this crowd. They
arrive in Las Vegas with one dress shirt and one twenty-dollar
bill and they go seven days without changing either one.
Ramsey Clark announced Thursday he will serve as defense
attorney for Saddam Hussein at his war crimes trial. He's a former
U.S. Attorney General. If President Bush wants an attorney general
who supports torture then Ramsey Clark is available.
Mexico published a comic book teaching its citizens how to
cross the border into the U.S. illegally. They feel so entitled.
They really went too far when the Mexican foreign ministry
demanded the Arizona desert be made wheelchair-accessible.
Graceland in Memphis commemorated the seventieth anniversary
of the birth of Elvis Presley Saturday. His well-known weaknesses
were more than offset by his love for everybody. It was a reminder
to enjoy Bill Clinton while we still have him.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton |