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Jewish World Review Jan. 20, 2003 / 26 Teves, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | NASA scientists were gleeful Friday after the Mars Rover was able to extend its robotic arm. The next day, the arm actually touched the Martian soil. That should end any talk that it was roughed up by the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department.

New Hampshire takes center stage now that the Iowa Caucuses are over. Last night's winner should get a huge boost. Chief Sitting Bull proved at the Battle of the Little Big Horn that there is nothing quite like having the momentum coming out of Iowa.

Howard Dean was praised by Jimmy Carter Sunday at Baptist church services in Plains. The presidential candidate was raised an Episcopalian. Every time the Southern Baptists raised both arms to the Lord, he figured Carolina must have scored.

George McGovern endorsed Wesley Clark for president Sunday at a pancake breakfast. The Vietnam anti-war candidate praised the Iraq anti-war candidate. It may be the first presidential endorsement ever sponsored by Dove soap.

Bill Clinton was reported Sunday to be holed up in a two- story garage behind his house in Chappaqua, writing his memoirs in longhand. The weather is a problem. It was so cold in New York Sunday that his intern walked into the office and snapped her longjohns at him.

Greece assured the White House Friday the Summer Olympics in Athens will be free of athlete doping. It's already hurting our Olympic baseball team. When Barry Bonds' steroid tests came back from the lab last week, he had to be reclassified an East German woman.

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