Ask Wendy

Jewish World Review Dec. 26, 2002 / 21 Teves, 5763


The bride's Kosher crisis;
in denial about daughter?


By Wendy Belzberg

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Q: I am getting married and would like to accommodate my fiancé's family. They are insisting on a strictly kosher wedding reception. If we serve a dairy meal, several of my relatives with dietary restrictions who are not Jewish or observant will have little to eat; if we serve both meat and dairy many of his relatives will be very upset. I am desperate to find a compromise.

A: Strict adherence to the laws of Kosher laws does not allow for compromise. This is just one of the many things you will learn if you marry into a religious family --- and it is one of the easier lessons. When it comes to the dos and don'ts of Sabbath observance your learning curve will be much steeper. As long as you and your fiancé are on the same page, and his family is patient and tolerant, you will find your way. The good news is that a gifted Jewish caterer can deliver a delicious meal that speaks to all of your concerns: would you believe velvety chocolate cake with non-dairy whipped cream? Your in-laws will be able to attend; your guests will never know. As for the main course, why not a rare fillet with (non-dairy) hollandaise sauce? For those vegetarians among your guests, I have yet to meet a caterer who does not offer an alternative meal for those with dietary restrictions.

Q: My 23-year-old daughter recently moved back home. She has a great job and is a wonderful person. The moment she gets home she switches on the TV and does nothing else. She used to take great care in her looks but does not seem to do so anymore. She rarely goes out: She claims that during the week she is too tired, and that on weekends her friends are busy with their boyfriends and husbands. This situation is driving me mad. What's a mother to do?

A: What's a mother to do? Dig your head out of the sand and seek the advice of a professional. All the symptoms you list scream depression, loud and clear: apathy, fatigue, diminishing social life and lack of attention to personal appearance. Stop talking to your daughter and start talking to a doctor. Immediately. It is the natural order for children to grow up and leave home.



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© 2002, Wendy Belzberg