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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 29, 2006 / 7 Tishrei, 5767

‘Forgive and forget’?

By Rabbi Berel Wein


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In Judaism, it's not the victim that's bidden not to forget the wrong done


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Jewish attitude towards forgiveness is that it is a Godly virtue. Even though Avimelech, the king of the Philistines, abducted our mother Sarah for immoral Purposes, Avraham forgave him and prayed for the restoration of his health and the health of his court. Forgiveness is truly an imitation of the divine nature implanted within our souls.


However, forgetting is an entirely different matter.


In Judaism it is not the victim that is commanded not to forget the wrong done. The perpetrator of that wrong is the one bidden not to forget. Therefore, we find Avraham, after praying for Avimelech and his court, severely reproving him for his behavior. In the words of the Talmud, Avraham tells him: "A stranger arrives in town searching for lodging and hospitality and the only thing you are interested in is the woman who accompanies him." Avraham wants Avimelech to remember the incident.


Without that memory the forgiveness part is almost worthless. One cannot forgive a serial criminal. Only the guilty one who remembers the wrong done and pledges not to allow it to recur is truly capable of being forgiven in the eyes of man and Heaven as well.


In Proverbs we are told that "that one who admits one's wrongdoing and forsakes repeating such behavior will be mercifully forgiven." Contriteness and apology, humility and self-analysis are deserving of forgiveness. Arrogance and blustering, lying and bull-headedness, never bring about forgiveness and healing. Such traits are symptomatic that the perpetrator has forgotten the wrong that was done.


Denial of wrongs committed, ignoring obvious mistakes that were made and instead repeating them again certainly cannot hope to bring about forgiveness and harmony in individual or societal relations. King David in Psalms proclaims: "My sins are before me always." Even after being punished and forgiven for those sins, David does not allow himself to forget them. By his not forgetting his wrongs that he committed guarantees that he will not repeat those wrongs and that the forgiveness extended to him will be permanent and valid.


In this week's Torah portion, we read that G-d granted humans the immeasurably great gift of forgetfulness. Being able to forget is the one thing that allows us to live normal productive lives. If we remembered every moment of pain and embarrassment in our lives we would be unable to leave our beds in the morning. Yet the Torah teaches us that Israel, in its very selective memory, chose to forget the G-d that had granted them this great gift of being able to forget.


The great Maggid of Dubnow, Rabbi Yaakov Krantz, used a parable to illustrate this behavior. Once there was a man who was heavily in debt and was constantly being hounded by his creditors who gave him no peace day or night. His friend, who was also owed money by this debtor, nevertheless gave him some advice as to how to relieve the situation. "Pretend you are insane. They will soon give up and leave you alone."


The debtor took the advice and started to behave in a crazy fashion, rolling on the floor and frothing at the mouth. Sure enough, the creditors one by one despaired of the situation and stopped bothering him.


As the debtor slowly regained his prosperity, the friend who gave him the advice appeared and asked that his loan be repaid. The debtor went into his crazy act. The friend said to him: "Don't pull that act on me! I am the one who taught it to you."


So too, the Lord has blessed us with forgetfulness but we should not pull that act on Him, so to speak. This season of the year is a time for forgiveness and remembrance. Remember our own failings and try to rectify them, forgive others for theirs and pray to be remembered for good before the Heavenly throne of judgment and forgiveness on Yom Kippur.

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JWR contributor Rabbi Berel Wein --- Jewish historian, author and international lecturer offers a complete selection of CDs, audio tapes, video tapes, DVDs, and books on Jewish history at www.rabbiwein.com Comment by clicking here.


© 2006, Rabbi Berel Wein