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Feb. 8, 2013
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Jewish World Review
Perfectionism
By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.
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Among those who are negatively affected by the delusion
that they can be like G-d are perfectionists. These are people
who cannot make peace with the reality that human
beings cannot be perfect.
We all hate failure, but most people have accepted the reality
that mistakes and failures do occur. In baseball, for example,
it is accepted that errors will occur. They are part of the game,
and while a player who commits an error feels badly about it, he
continues to play. In fact, he may still get a salary in the millions
of dollars despite the fact that he made several errors during the
season - and some of them may have been costly to his team.
Perfectionists cannot accept this. They feel that whatever they
do must be flawless. Ironically, their perfectionism may be selfdefeating,
resulting in the very errors they wished to avoid. Perfectionists
are their own worst enemy.
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There is an anxiety that I call "The William Tell Syndrome."
The story goes that the king ordered the famed archer, William
Tell, to shoot an arrow at an apple perched on his son's head.
The average archer who aims at a target has a chance of hitting
the bull's-eye. His hands are steady, and he can aim well.
However, if asked to shoot an arrow perched on his child's head, the
anxiety of the disaster that he might kill his child is so great that
it causes his hands to tremble, and it is very difficult to aim and
shoot accurately, unlike the original William Tell, who transfixed
the arrow without harming his son. In realty, anxiety often guarantees
failure.
Most people, when faced with a task or challenge, certainly
wish to succeed and avoid failure, yet if they should fail, it will
be unpleasant but not catastrophic. To a perfectionist, failure may
be so devastating that the anxiety generated by the possibility of
failure compromises his ability to perform properly and virtually
guarantees failure.
If an individual can accept that he is imperfect, he can approach
a challenge without incapacitating anxiety.
A person should know that all that is required of him is to do
the best job capable with what is given to him and in his circumstances
at the moment.
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Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. is a psychiatrist and ordained rabbi. He is the founder of the Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pittsburgh, a leading center for addiction treatment. An Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, he is a prolific author, with some 62 books to his credit.
© 2012, "Used by permission. Artscroll Mesorah Publications".
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