May 13, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer? Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche May 10, 2013 Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon May 8, 2013 Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges 'Garbage man' in cells could extend life Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility May 6, 2013 Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal May 3, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert May 1, 2013 Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell Halena M. 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Twerski: The world is a mirror Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen? Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver) The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead April 24, 2013 Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret Top Muslim cleric boycotts inter-faith dialogue conference attended by 'Jews' Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication? Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to easily get more Omega-3s in your diet Melissa Healy: Pot in a pill: All the pain relief without the smoke The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Chipotle Chili Butternut Squash Soup is bold, zesty, hot April 22, 2013 Ken Dilanian: Counterterrorism's future is unclear Hagel, on maiden Middle East visit, arrives in Israel bearing gifts and promises US man departing country arrested on terror charges Barbara Williams: An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: How to recognize a good whole grain product Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Teen actor Jonah Bobo in New Flick: Hunky James Wolk on Mad Men; Erich Segal's Daughter Writes Prize-Winning Jewish Novel The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: 'Noodles,' Asian style is a carb sub, sure. But they are also amazingly delicious and colorful April 19, 2013 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: When violence seems the only answer Caroline B. Glick: Why Obama's visit to Israel had no impact on public opinion or government policy Morgan Housel: Gold collapse: The start of something big? Harvard Health Letters: Can you die of a broken heart? Pete Spotts: Livable super-Earths? Two candidates among Kepler's latest finds Nora Schultz: Oxytocin helps beat booze cravings The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: Middle Eastern cuisine meets Italian delicious with this lentil and eggplant pastitsio April 17, 2013 Shira Rubin: Too much of a good thing? 'Palestinians' realize downside of foreign aid boom Geoffrey Mohan: Can computers decode dreams? Researchers take a first step Morgan Housel: BAD NEWS: EVERYONE IS RIGHT! Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 heart-healthy eating tips help cut saturated fat but not taste Michael Craig Miller, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Told your child has sensory processing disorder? Seek a second opinion The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Corn and Curry Add Zing to Chilled Soup April 15, 2013 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Death of Education? Kristen Chick: Egyptian Christians respond with harsh words to attack -- rocks, Molotov cocktails, and gunfire -- against main cathedral Marcy Darnovsky and Karuna Jaggar: High Court to decide if you should own your DNA Howard LaFranchi: US bracing for more Russian blowback after taking action against 18 more human rights violators Kristin Ohlson : The loneliest fight The Kosher Gourmet by Dana Velden: A tasty, rich dish that hints at spring's arrival while still anchored in a favorite winter staple April 12, 2013 Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: The Inspired Loner Caroline B. Glick : Must we continue to be enablers of our own destruction? Mark Clayton: New cybersecurity bill: Privacy threat or crucial band-aid? Morgan Housel: Twitter: The carnival barker of investing Harvard Health Letters.: Dietary supplements: Do they help or hurt? Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jackie Robinson's Friend, Hank Greenberg; CNN's Jake Tapper; Texas County in the News is named for 19thC. Jewish soldier and Congressman The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: FRUITY QUINOA STUFFED PEPPERS: A flavorful, colorful and edible vessel of delicately fluffy, mildly nutty filling combined with chewy apricots, tangy cherries, and crunchy pistachios April 10, 2013 Edmund Sanders: Kerry leaves Israel with hopes, but few results Nicholas Blanford: Iran's 'axis of resistance' loses its Palestinian arm to Syrian war Peter Grier: North Korean missiles: Could US shoot them down? Morgan Housel: Warning: Don't waste your capital being fooled by profit prophets Donald Hensrud, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Take vitamin supplements with caution --- even approved, they may actually do damage Eryn Brown: 74 DNA discoveries move cure closer for three cancers Mark Guarino: Google Glass already has some lawmakers on high alert The Kosher Gourmet by Dana Velden: A soup to feed every guest, no matter how finicky April 8, 2013 Jonathan Tobin: What Part of No Preconditions Do American Jews Not Get? Christa Case Bryant: No Place on Earth Fred Weir: Is Putin finally trading his own party for a new power base? Hara Estroff Marano: The Spice of Life P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: Generic drugs: Don't ask, just tell David Cook : Husband-hunting advice from Princeton alum triggers outrage, humor The Kosher Gourmet by James T. Farmer III : A simple, rustic white pizza: Good ingredients, fresh herbs, and an infused olive layered upon a crispy crust hits the spot

Jewish World Review May 28, 2008 / 23 Iyar 5768 Are these parents just too slow to be quick? By Richard Lederer http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A fifth-grade pupil wrote in an essay: "I have enjoyed my boyhood so much that I am looking forward to my adultery." A young woman wrote to advice columnist Dorothy Dix: "I have been an adolescent for the past six or seven years. When will I grow up to be an adulteress?" Eventually little boys and girls do grow up to become adults and adulteresses, at which point their writing is supposed to get better. But that is not always the case. If you wonder why Johnny and Jane can't write, take a look at some of the prose miscreated by their moms and dads. Here are some poor excuses for excuse notes that were actually received by teachers throughout our land: Please excuse Raul from school yesterday. He had a stomach egg. Susan was not in school today because she had her first menopause. Stanley had to miss some school. He had an attack of whooping cranes in his chest. Gerald was out last week because his grandmother died in Kentucky again. Please excuse Margie for being absent Wednesday and Thursday as she was sick with a stripped throat and an absent tooth. Ronnie could not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling. The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated. I kept Monica home today because she was not feeling too bright. Please excuse my daughter. She had an abominable pain. Please can Jill not have Jim today? She had Jim last week and is still sore. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout. Please refuse Robert's absents last Friday. He had a sour thought. Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had trouble and had to be serpent sized. Please excuse Redbird. Every time she coff she make whoopie. Jennifer was late due to our clock getting unplugged and waking up late. Please excuse the stink on Bill's clothes. We've been spraying the garden because it is full of abnoxous incests. Please excuse Jane. She had an absent tooth. Wednesday she will have an appointment with the ornithologist. Please excuse my daughter's absence for the past week, as she had a case of the fool. Please escuse my daughter's absence. She had her periodicals. Please excuse Connie from gym class to day, as she had difficulty breeding. Paulie was late because he was not too early. He is never in no hurry. He is too slow to be quick. Is there any excuse for the disrepair of these excuse notes? Or are the parents just too slow to be quick? . Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Richard Lederer Archives Comment by clicking here. JWR contributor Richard Lederer is a language maven. More than a million of his books, which have been Book-of-the-Month Club and Literary Guild alternate selections, are in print. His latest work is Presidential Trivia: The Feats, Fates, Families, Foibles, and Firsts of Our American Presidents © 2008, Richard Lederer

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