JWR Schticks and groans

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2005 / 4 Shevat, 5765

Poor Palestinians? Poor New Yorkers!

By Julia Gorin

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | As the world hopes that the outcome of last Sunday's Palestinian elections will finally put the Palestinians on a path toward ending their decades-old suffering and desperation, it occurs to me why, as a New Yorker, my sympathy for their "plight" has always been at a callous minimum.

I recall watching a TV interview with a Palestinian woman complaining of the "cramped" refugee camp conditions, but all I could focus on was the size of her living room. There I was, holed up in an Upper East Side studio with a husband and a pit bull, envying the Palestinian woman's space.

Because let's be honest: New Yorkers are glorified rodents — living on top of one another and scurrying around one another on the sidewalks. Essentially, we're an ant colony for the rest of the country's amusement.

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I've heard that on the mainland they have these things called houses. (I saw one once, so I know it's true.) And just about every one of them comes with what's known as a backyard. Apparently, this is the American dream that people come here to acquire. Why didn't we get that memo? I'm in this country over 25 years and still living like a refugee!

That's why every time another score of Israelis gets bombed and I hear the Palestinian "desperation" justification, I think, "Something's not right." Because I lived in the East Village for seven years, and I didn't blow anybody up.

The world blames the Jews for the Palestinian "plight," meanwhile look at how Jews live in New York: It's more than 60 years since we got out of the ghetto, and still the Jews are piling on top of each other into three square feet on the Upper West Side.

I'm not trying to make light of whatever legitimate grievances the Palestinians may have, but when this New York sardine is subjected to reports of their crowded conditions, I just can't feel sorry. Just like when I see Palestinian children playing with munitions for the cameras instead of toys or swings (apparently, even after the billions the West poured into Palestinian aid, the PA never built so much as a playground). Besides, New Yorkers can one-up playing with shell casings outdoors: the toddlers in my building, bereft of a backyard and living in spaces without space, resort to rolling around in the hallways on over-trod, toxic, allergen-infested carpet. I can hear them outside the door even now, squealing gleefully as if they're living a normal life.

Most recently, I'm hearing screams of injustice that in its final conceptualization, the Palestinian state will be somewhat disjointed rather than a contiguous body, forcing people to use underground tunnels to get around. It makes a New Yorker want to scream, "Hello?! — do the words 'five boroughs' mean anything to anyone?" To get anywhere in New York, you either have to go over bridges and through tunnels or spend half your life underground commuting by subway. If until now, Palestinians have managed to stay above ground a full day, already their quality of life is better than in the Big Apple. (I guarantee a Palestinian's Vitamin D count is higher than a New Yorker's.)

When politicians and press were treated to a tour by Yassir Arafat of the "devastation" to the Jenin "refugee" camp during the 2002 Israeli raid on terrorists, Arafat pointed to a car that had been flattened when a tank rolled over it. I looked closer, and saw that it was an expensive make — either an Audi or BMW, I don't recall now — but the point is, New Yorkers don't even have cars! Most New Yorkers, when there is no time for a public bus or subway, grudgingly take a yellow taxi — the new "stretch" model of which means that instead of sitting pigeon-toed or with feet in ballet First Position, a New Yorker can now sit with his feet facing forward in a natural position. This is "stretching" in New York.

If you think genocide bombers are "desperate", try spending an evening with a single woman over the age of 35 in the city. That's desperation! And yet these yentas don't pack their bodies with nails and explosives and go to a club full of 20-something hotties to make a statement.

Furthermore, it has been my observation that people who stay in New York past the age of 40 go insane (here it's called "eccentric" or "neurotic") — a result consistent with crowding experiments done on mice. Daftness has come prematurely for me; after 14 years in Manhattan, I've started to catch myself talking to myself (my best friend, who lives alone, started even before I did). All of which proves that "suffering" and "desperation" can be a lifestyle choice — and it has been for New Yorkers and Palestinians alike: Just as some choose New York misery, Palestinians have chosen misery by rejecting a state every time it's been offered, by rejecting jobs programs the Israelis have created for them, and by destroying housing developments the Israelis have built for them — with the rest of the Arab world doing nothing to help, save for Saddam Hussein awarding them $25,000 to kill and be killed.

So let's not over-dramatize.

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JWR contributor Julia Gorin tours with Right Stuff Comedy and performs in the monthly New York-based show Republican Riot. Send your comments by clicking here.

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