Did you hear the one about the Jews who paid a thousand dollars a plate to hear Bill Clinton speak after he sold Israel down the
river (by rewarding genocide bombings with more land)?
Or the one about the Jews who are still loyal to a political party whose members pass out 9/11-Israel conspiracy
literature at public forums?
What about the Jews who heard that most Muslims would be voting for John Kerry and so they voted for John Kerry?
Now, did you hear the one about the Jew who dropped his watch in the subway tracks but decided to look for it on the platform
because it was easier? His name is Abe Foxman, and he's officially given up on the ADL's mission. For those who didn't read
between the lines of Foxman's recent attack on Evangelical Christians, it was a surrender of even the semblance of being relevant in the age of jihad,
and a way back to fixating on bogeymen in America.
According to a recent Jewish Week article, Foxman said, "It is time to start naming names and judging the motives of leading
conservative Christian groups, and not simply respond to their specific policy initiatives."
In a classic
schoolyard scenario, instead of facing up to the bully, Foxman and Eric Yoffie the Union for Reform (i.e. Liberal) Judaism
president who the following week compared Christians to Hitler are taking their frustrations out on their friends. The Evangelicals those
people whose value system has a lot in common with the Judaic one that these nominal Jews lost touch with
Apparently, Jews don't have enough enemies in this world, and the one friend they have is one too many. Or perhaps these two and
the Jews who think like they do figure that the world doesn't stand a chance against Islam, so why not help battle the only
remaining religion standing in its way of world domination?
It's been called Foxman's "get tough" approach. But I call it his Madonna approach: "Ooh, I'm gonna be edgy. I'm gonna go after
the Christians. I'm gonna stand up to people I have no fear of."
Ever hear what tough Jewish negotiating sounds like? Here's a page from the Oslo Land-for-Peace process:
Jews: "Ok, so we're giving you Gaza, the West Bank "
Palestinians: "Death to Israel!"
Jews: "…East Jerusalem, Golan Heights "
Palestinians: "Kill the Jews!"
Evangelicals: "Stop, this isn't going well; you can't kill the Je "
Jews: "Hey we're negotiating here! Will you stay out of it?"
Evangelicals: "But you're signing your death warrant!"
Jews: "Stop trying to convert me!"
Yoffie, for his part, called conservative Christian activists "'zealots' who claim a 'monopoly on G-d' while promoting anti-gay policies
akin to Adolf Hitler's."
The funny part is that he wasn't saying this about the religion that really does carry the Nazi torch with "Sieg Heil" salutes,
swastikas, children who cheer in European classrooms every time the word "Holocaust" is mentioned, and ancestors who originated
the yellow patch for Jewish dhimmis which the Third Reich adopted.
But wait it gets funnier: these are the same Jews who, while watching Holocaust documentaries have been known to say things
like: "If they ever come for us again, I'm taking one of them with me." Trouble is, doing so would require first recognizing one. Then it
would require a gun. And who's protecting our right to bear those? Not Adolf Hitler, who took away all the guns as soon as he came
to power, and not today's secularist Democrats. But if Hitler were running as a gun-control Democrat today, he'd get the Jewish
"What could be more bigoted than to claim that you have a monopoly on G-d?" Yoffie asked at the Reform movement's national
assembly in Houston two weeks ago.
Is this a trick question? Um, beheading
Christian children in Indonesia? Ethnically cleansing non-Muslims? Executing
gays in Iran and torturing them
in Egypt? Am I getting warm? Genocide bombings in Israel?
According to the report, "the audience of 5,000 [Dumb Jews] responded to the speech with enthusiastic applause."
Yoffie focused mostly on gays, and accused the religious right of fanning the "hellfires" of anti-gay bigotry. So what we have, as
usual, is Jews putting other minorities before themselves.
See, we like to forge alliances with groups who couldn't care less, sticking our necks out for other minorities whom we feel we have
something in common with just by virtue of our also being a "minority." That they've never returned the favor, and are more likely to,
say, attend an anti-Israel rally
than a pro-Israel rally, as well as resent Jews for "having money" and "controlling the media" has never fazed Dumb Jews. Because
Dumb Jews still don't get the difference: these minorities are politically correct, whereas Jews remain politically incorrect making
them an infinitely more endangered species. Ever wonder why it is that the more people Muslims kill, the less popular Jews
The only protection Jews have been able to count on has come from Evangelicals, the people at the forefront of keeping G-d in the
public square in America something that Foxman's namesake, the original Abraham, was a champion of. Likewise, atheists are a
lot safer in Christian countries than Christians are in atheist countries. And yet Dumb Jews harbor nothing but suspicion and
contempt for these people, even though it's hard to name even one prominent, non-Jewish liberal who is a defender of Israel. Dumb
Jews haven't even figured out that their beloved secularism is what brought college campuses here and in Europe to the point where they're no
longer safe for Jews.
In addition to minorities, Dumb Jews also obsess over abortion rights. In fact, several opinion makers have proposed that the
Foxman speech was a neurotic response to the shift in the Supreme Court, which could have implications for Roe v. Wade. Which
means that in between bemoaning intermarriage, assimilation and low fertility rates among secular-slash-Reform Jews, they're
trying to abort more Jews.
Something else Foxman found disturbing is an ADL poll indicating that 69 percent of Evangelicals and 60 percent of weekly
churchgoers said there should be organized prayer in public schools. Whereas this proponent of homosexuality, abortion and
Sex-Ed would prefer there to be organized sex in public schools.
Jews may have been the Chosen People once, but somewhere between Monica Lewinsky and Chandra Levy, I think G-d gave up.
At this point, it's between Christians and Muslims. That's why it's so worrisome that while Muslims in Michigan are getting noise
ordinances passed to allow a public call to
prayer five times a day, we're debating whether to take G-d out of the Pledge first or off the money. Is jihad really a good time to be
rejecting any deities?
Meanwhile, where are the outcries from the ADL and the Union for Reform Judaism about those public calls to prayer in Hamtramck,
MI or about the San Francisco school district that has public school kids dressing, praying and fasting like Muslims for three weeks? Where is the questioning of "motives and intent"
there? And is it the ADL that started reporting on Palestinian violence against Israelis and indoctrination of Palestinian children
during Oslo, before it was hip to talk about?
No. In fact, that would be Pat Robertson's 700 Club. Jews
obviously have it too good in America if they have to make up problems that aren't there. One lesson we've been relearning in recent
years is that where Jews aren't safe, Christians aren't either. Well the corollary holds true as well.
Foxman also worries that "Evangelicals are becoming much more adept at 'using elements of the government to achieve their
goals.'" When'd they learn to be like everyone else? It's much preferable to think of them as sticking to churches and the
backwoods of Louisiana, without phones or working appliances. And yet another horror of horrors Foxman cites: the expansion of
funding for religious institutions through government faith-based programs regardless of the countless Jewish-run help centers that
benefit from it. Actually, what's scary is that, because of the limits imposed by the god-haters, President Bush has had to
contribute to faith-based charities and substance-abuse recovery programs out of his own pocket. But he's just a freaky Christian;
as long as Bill Clinton puts on a yarmulke, Dumb Jews give him center stage.
Foxman also noted that 70 percent of weekly churchgoers and 76 percent of Evangelicals "agreed that 'Christianity is under attack'
in this country a conclusion that is hard to square with their growing influence in Congress, the White House and the courts, he
With attacks on religion that target "In G-d we
Trust", "Under G-d",
tiny crosses on county seals,
Christmas trees and the 10 Commandments, Christians really have nothing to fear.
Foxman goes on to chastise politicians in both parties, who are "eager to appease the religious conservatives or at least not open
themselves up to charges of being anti-religion." Damn those politicians for realizing that writing off American Christians as wackos
"When you have [Democrat Sen. Joseph] Lieberman and [Republican Sen. Norm] Coleman on the same page on the religion issue,
and the fact that Senator [Hillary] Clinton is moving toward the center on these issues, where do you go then?"
Because Democrats should be atheists, and Republicans should be Christians otherwise it all gets too confusing for Abe, who
when Lieberman kept bringing up his faith during the 2000 Elections, asked him to "tone down the
religious thing." So basically, this man's job is to keep the world safe for Jews to keep hiding.
If it's surreptitious "motives and intent" that have Foxman panicking about Evangelicals who make no secret of their beliefs and
simply don't want to be persecuted for them he should take a look in the mirror and scrutinize his own unacknowledged agenda.
Because there's more to this over-vigilant church-state-separatism zealotry than meets the eye. The fact is, the fanatical perversion
and expansion of the church-state clause is the closest they'll get to setting up a godless, Euro-style, secular-humanist atheocracy
here. Because Dumb Jews can't even take an example from Europe to note that where there is a religious vacuum, only one religion
rushes in to fill it: Islam. And unlike Christianity, it doesn't make room for others. Foxman et al should just skip a few steps and
arrive at the logical conclusion of their efforts: convert to Islam already.
In the 60s, we were told that the god-loathing wouldn't go beyond removing prayer from school. But looking around this "holiday
season" so far, I've seen only "Happy Holidays" and no "Merry Christmas" the result of a long and concerted PC effort to upstage
Christmas as much as possible by coming up with as many minor ethnic holidays as possible that happen to fall around the same
time of year as the Christians' biggest one.
Meanwhile, Boston's famous Christmas tree has finally become a "holiday tree." It's all just a bit too reminiscent of Soviet Russia, where each family was allowed to
have a "New Year's Tree."
There is only one group in America that is victim to bigotry on a massive scale, and that is the Christians. For those who think the
minority can't oppress the majority, think again. The minority with its various minorities can oppress an entire nation.
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JWR contributor Julia Gorin is a widely published op-ed writer and comedian who blogs at www.JuliaGorin.com . Comment by clicking here.
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