Reality Check

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

The Religious Mindset

By Jonathan Rosenblum

Living with a very different sense of reality | I'm often struck by the commonalities in ways of thinking shared by religious believers of different faiths --- or at least Christians and Jews. (I do not know enough to comment on Eastern religions, and with respect to Islam, those common elements seem to be increasingly overwhelmed by resentment, xenophobia, and a burgeoning death cult.)

The morning after the 2012 U.S. presidential election, political analyst Michael Barone, whose column appears on JWR, described the major division in America society primarily as one between religious belief and non-belief. On the one side, are those who are "traditionally religious, personally charitable, appreciative of entrepreneurs, and suspicious of government;" on the other side, those who are "secular . . . , less charitable, suspicious of business, and supportive of government as an instrument of liberal causes."

He noted that the old religious wars between devout Protestants and believing Catholics are largely a thing of the past, as the two groups find themselves increasingly similar in their thinking on a wide range of social issues. He might have added Orthodox Jews as well.

ONE AREA WHERE THE DIVIDE between believers and non-believers stands out boldly is in responses to tragedy, whether at the hands of nature or man. The religious believer tends to use tragedy as a spur to introspection about himself and his society, and as a means to work on his relationship with his fellow man and the Divine. He lives in a world rich in metaphor and filled with hints as to how to improve his own behavior.


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The non-believer, raised on the Enlightenment confidence in unaided human reason, is far less likely to look within. While he may pay rhetorical lip service to the need for national stock-taking in the wake of tragedy, he does not mean himself. That stock-taking is for the purpose of identifying the villains and coming up with new laws to restrain them.

Natural disasters are thus doubly distressing for the non-believer. They stand as a stark reminder of the limits of human control. Hurricane Sandy could not be outlawed. After the fact, it can be asked whether the damage could have been dramatically lessened by spending billions, if not hundreds of billions of dollars, to construct gigantic man-made barriers against the ocean, in anticipation of an event unprecedented at that latitude in living memory. And during Republican administrations at least, there are opportunities to find villains. But when a Democrat sits in the White House, there is little solace to be had.

But where the non-believer sees only senseless destruction, the believer still finds the possibility of growth. Walter Russell Mead, one of America's leading public intellectuals and also one of the few who writes openly of his religious faith, penned a beautiful meditation as Hurricane Sandy spread its destruction. Though the Scriptural quotations are in the King James translation -- as befits the son of an Anglican minister -- they are familiar to any religiously literate Jew, and I suspect that the sentiments expressed would resonate with most believing Jews as well:

[The hurricane reminds us that] a storm is coming from which neither you nor we can survive. The strongest walls, the sturdiest retirement plans stuffed with stocks and CDs, the best doctors cannot protect us from that encounter with the force that made and will someday unmake us.

To come to terms with the radical insecurity in which we live is to find a different and more reliable kind of security . . . . [T]he same force that sends these storms into our lives offers a peace and security that no storm can destroy. As another one of the psalms puts it, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Accepting your limits and your dependence on things you can't control is the first step on the road toward finding that joy.

THE DIVERGENCE IN RESPONSE between believers and non-believers is no less great with respect to man-inflicted tragedies, such as the recent mass murder in Newtown, Connecticut, in which 26 people, including 20 children, were murdered. True to the Enlightenment confidence in the power of laws to shape human behavior, President Obama has appointed a commission and promised legislative action forthwith.

Yet it would be a stretch to call the legalistic response rational, in the sense of being based on evidence and/or logic. Every proposed restriction on privately-held firearms currently on the table (many of which will not pass constitutional muster, given the current state of Second Amendment jurisprudence) has previously been tried to little effect.

And those legal responses most likely to make future "narcissistic suicides" (in Mark Steyn's apt description) less lethal are ruled out of court in advance. Legal restrictions of involuntary commitment of the mentally ill will not be loosened. And no matter how much statistical support law and economics professors John Lott and William Landes marshaled in their 2000 article "Multiple Victim Public Shootings," for the proposition that the one proven means to reduce the lethality of public shootings are laws allowing the carrying of concealed weapons — so that someone capable of shooting the perpetrator is likely to be on the scene — it can be foretold in advance that enactment of such laws will not be one of the recommendations emanating from the President's Commission.

Though legalistic in form, the legislative impulse in this case is expiatory minus any feelings of personal guilt: Something, anything, must be done to demonstrate we humans are in control. Some members of the liberal commentariat even suggested targeted assassinations of leaders of the National Rifle Association.

THE ONLY PIECE ON NEWTOWN that struck me as something more than the use of a terrible tragedy for the purpose of riding beloved hobbyhorses was sent to me by Rabbi Shlomo Goldberg, a Los Angeles educator. He begins by discussing the prevalence of social isolation today. Too many of our young live much of their lives in virtual universes devoid of human contact. The original icon for iPods and iPads was a faceless figure dancing alone. Both listening to music and dancing used to be social activities. But today, everyone is dancing to his own private playlist brought to him alone via earphones.

Isolation in private virtual universes, in which death and mayhem have no permanent consequences, makes radical cruelty less unthinkable. The word for cruelty in the Holy Tongue is achzarius, which can be read ach (only) zarus (strangeness, alienation): The less connection we feel to other human beings the easier to treat them brutally.

In contrast to the world of declining face-to-face contact and communal life described by Robert Putnam in Bowling Alone:The Collapse and Revival of the American Community, the Torah envisions a world of connection of man to himself, to his fellow men, and to the Divine. In a speech that he gave on many secular kibbutzim between the 1967 War and the Yom Kippur War, the late Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe took as his starting point an a cryptic Talmudic passage in Tractate Menachos (53b): Let the Yedid (beloved friend), who is the son of a Yedid come, and build a Yedid for the Yedid, in the portion of the Yedid so that the Yedidim will thereby achieve atonement.

The Talmud interprets the statement to mean: Let King Solomon, the son of Abraham our forefather, come and build the Temple for G0D, in the land of the tribe of Benjamin, so that the Jewish people can attain atonement. The Talmud brings prooftexts that all those named are elsewhere referred to as yedid . The word yedid is made up of the word hand (yad) doubled: A dear friend is one with whom you walk hand in hand. The obscure language of the Talmud thus portrays the world as one of connection to the Divine and through Him to all of His creations.

Rabbi Goldberg's starting point is the assumption that social ills begin with failures of human character, and thus the improvement of character is the key to any remedy of social ills. He employs that insight not to club others with the superiority of the Torah community but as a tool for the creation of increased connection in our communities and schools — e.g., through the teaching of the laws between man and his fellow man.

THE SOCIAL COHESION that Rabbi Goldberg finds lacking is found in higher degrees in various religious communities. The religious typically rank significantly higher with respect to charitable giving, volunteerism, and group membership, as Michael Barone noted.

The only truly biracial group I have ever seen was a church group from Terry Haute, Indiana, with which I once shared a plane trip to the States.

(Though the college I attended was thoroughly integrated, the black students ate only with other black students.)

I once hitched a ride from Chicago to Milwaukee with two young Mormons. However bizarre their theology might have sounded to my Jewish ears, their description of the organization of Mormon communities into units of tens, hundreds, and thousands -- with different people responsible for each grouping -- was instantly recognizable. It comes straight out of the Torah portion in which Moses is advised by his father-in-law, Jethro, (advice later given the Divine imprimatur) to appoint leaders of the tens, fifties, hundreds, and thousands. The degree of mutual responsibility they described in Mormon communities could have served as a model for my own community.

"Behold I have placed before you, life and the good, death and evil, that I command you this day to love the Lord, your G0D. . . . " (Deut. 30:15-6). The great medieval commentator Ibn Ezra derives from the verse that "life is meant for the sake of love." That too is a message to which people of faith of various religions could subscribe.

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JWR contributor Jonathan Rosenblum is founder of the Jerusalem-based Jewish Media Resources. A respected commentator on Israeli politics, society, culture and the Israeli legal system, who speaks frequently on these topics in the United States, Europe, and Israel, his articles appear regularly in numerous Jewish periodicals in the United States and Israel. Rosenblum is also the author of seven biographies of major modern Jewish figures. He is a graduate of the University of Chicago and Yale Law School.

© 2012, Jonathan Rosenblum