 |
|
Nov. 23, 2009
JWisdom.com: Actually, it really is all about you with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff
Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Nov. 12, 2008
/ 14 Mar-Cheshvan 5769
Tyrannical Co-Workers
By
Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Q: I have a co-worker who is tyrannical and otherwise difficult. Sometimes she accuses me of incompetence. I suffer greatly from having to work together with this person as a team. What can I do?
A: Working together with someone incompatible can be one of life's greatest trials. One prominent Jewish classic finds a hint of this difficulty in a commandment of the Torah.
The Torah commands us, "Don't plow with an ox and an ass together". (Deuteronomy 22:10) While this directive may seem arbitrary to us, the medieval classic work Sefer Hachinuch suggests an ethical motivation and presents a human analog as well:
Among the reasons for this commandment is concern for the suffering of animals, which is a Torah commandment. For it is known that to animals and birds there is great anxiety to dwell with other kinds, and so much the more to labor with them. . .And very wise person should learn a moral from this and never appoint for anything two people who are far apart in their natures and different in their conduct, for example a righteous and a wicked person, or a light hearted and a grave person. For if the Torah was strict on the suffering of animals who aren't given understanding, so much the more for people, who have an intelligent soul to know their Creator. (1)
The Talmud points out that it is impossible to endure marriage with a completely incompatible person, "A person can not live in the same basket as a snake" (2); in other places we learn that finding a compatible workplace is a difficult task, comparable in some ways to finding a compatible spouse. (3)
Even so, it is surprising how many people suffer difficult situations in silence, and don't make an effort to rectify them. If you haven't done so until now, you should try to find a way to communicate your concerns to your colleague - preferably directly, but if necessary through a third party. The Torah commands us, "Surely reprove your fellow, and don't bear sin towards him". (Leviticus 19:17)
Let's see what the same Sefer Hachinuch says about this:
Because this promotes peace and welfare among people, for if one person should sin towards another and he reproves him privately, he can apologize before him and the other will accept his apology, and be reconciled. But if he doesn't reprove him, he will despise him in his heart and be liable to harm him sooner or later. (4)
A parallel consideration mentioned by other commentators is that if we reprove someone, we give them an opportunity to defend their actions. Sometimes it is the reprover who owes an apology, but no matter what it is the gentle and private reproof that creates the opportunity for reconciliation.
If private steps don't solve the problem, you may have to turn to other people in your firm. While informing your boss about this person's shortcomings for purely vindictive purposes would be forbidden slander, your intention is not to get revenge but merely to create a livable working environment. I would certainly advise you to consult your employer and try to find a way to change your work situation, even if the outcome may be that your co-worker may have to change jobs. If that doesn't help matters, it may be that you should begin patiently looking for a new situation.
SOURCES: (1) Sefer Hachinuch 550 (2) Babylonian Talmud, Yevamos112b.
(3) Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 118a, Sotah 2a. (4) Sefer Hachinuch 239
ARCHIVES
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes inspiring articles. Sign up for our daily update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir, formerly of the Council of Economic Advisers in the Reagan
administration, is Research Director of the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem, Jerusalem College of Technology.
To comment or pose a question, please click here.
THE JEWISH ETHICIST, NOW IN BOOK FORM
You've enjoyed his columns on JWR for years. Now the Jewish Ethicist has culled his most intriguing — and controversial — offerings in book form.
HARDCOVER
PAPERBACK
Sales help fund JWR.
|
© 2008, The Jewish Ethicist is produced by the JCT Center for Business Ethics
|
