In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

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Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 5, 2007 / 15 Adar, 5767

Teenager in our Midst

By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir

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Should we report our neighbor who is breaking our age-restricted community by-laws?

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Q: I'm on the administrative committee of an age-restricted (over-55) community. One neighbor is living with his teenage grandson, in violation of our community by-laws. Can I report his violation to the committee, which will then weigh sanctions?

A: Let's study first the background of this question.

While originally there was little regulation of resident restrictions in the US, the growing civil-rights consciousness of the 1960's gave rise to the Fair Housing Act which prohibited arbitrary discrimination in housing. Among the protected categories are race and family status, for example prohibiting single-parent families or those with young children.

However, Congress decided that allowing older people to establish a quiet community served an important public interest, and created an exception to the Act. The Housing for Older Persons Act makes it legal to establish a community designed for and restricted to households where at least one member is over 55. (My understanding is that even these communities may not discriminate based on family status for those people who meet the criteria or are exempt from them. They cannot preferentially exclude one 55-year- old because he is a single parent of teenaged children.)

Since grandchildren are not considered family members for the purpose of the statute, communities may and do forbid their residence. (Of course they are encouraged to visit.)

What about reporting the violation? Jewish law strictly regulates any kind of damaging speech, including turning someone in for a violation. The great 20th century authority Rabbi Yisrael Meir HaCohen wrote an entire book on this topic, entitled Chafetz Chaim — "He who wants life". The title refers to the Biblical verse, "Who is the man who wants life, and loves days to see good? He who guards his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit" (Psalms 34:13-14). The Chafetz Chaim explains that such reporting is only permissible if five conditions are met — the ABC's of kosher speech:

The report must be Accurate; it must be the only way to bring about a constructive Benefit; fact checking must attain an appropriate level of Certainty; there must be a constructive intent and Desire, and not a vindictive motive; and the report must be Equitable, and not expose the subject to any excessive sanctions. (1)

If you have verified that the resident does indeed have a grandson living with him, and you have tried alternatives to reporting such as a friendly discussion with the resident himself, and if your objective is only to maintain the by-laws for the benefit of the residents, then the only criterion left is Equity.

The equity criterion has two aspects here. The first is that the rule itself is equitable; the second is that it is applied in a fair and equitable fashion. Let's discuss these separately.

Jewish law attaches great importance to community by-laws. An entire chapter of the Talmud (the first chapter of tractate Bava Basra) is devoted to elucidating the laws and customs related to neighbors in a common courtyard or city. These include principles for what kinds of tenants may fairly be excluded from the residence. While the relevant questions in ancient Babylonia were sometimes different than those in 21st century North America, the basic principles are the same: Residents are within their rights to make regulations protecting living conditions (for example, zoning restrictions on businesses which make noise or which bring excessive traffic) as long as they don't create unreasonable hardships. For example, a family can be prevented from permanently dividing a residence and bringing in an additional family, because this is a significant hardship for the residents. But they cannot be prevented from inviting guests, since the hardship for others is limited whereas prohibiting guests is an unreasonable hardship for the current tenant. (2)

The other aspect of equity is fair procedure. If the result of your report would be that the committee would summarily evict the youngster from his home, that would certainly be inequitable. Regulations are important, but there is usually another side to the story. However, you tell me that suspected violators are given an open hearing to present their version of events and regulations, and that they also have the right to appeal rulings of local committees before an impartial state board.

If you believe that the regulation prohibiting grandchildren serves a constructive purpose; if you have tried alternatives to reporting including explaining the regulations to the tenant; and if there is an orderly and equitable procedure for this grandfather to obtain a fair hearing, then you may report the situation to the committee. Given the fact that you are a committee member and have a special obligation to uphold its decisions, it is even appropriate for you to do so.

At the same time, I urge you to help the grandfather and the boy by informing them of all rights and claims they may have. For example, many such communities have a limited number (generally 20%) of exemptions; the housing regulations permitting eviction may be contradicted by laws protecting minors restricting them, and so on. The objective should be a fair hearing which truly presents the strongest possible case for each side.

SOURCES: (1) Chafetz Chaim vol. II chapter 9. (2) Maimonides, Neighbors 5:8-9.


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JWR contributor Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir, formerly of the Council of Economic Advisers in the Reagan administration, is Research Director of the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem, Jerusalem College of Technology. To comment or pose a question, please click here.


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