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Jewish World Review Nov. 29, 2010 / 22 Kislev, 5771 TSA, TSA, TSAlltheway! By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Is it me or is it coincidence? Seems the Obama Administration is punishing us.
Have our "…chickens come home to roost?"
And the reason we are being punished, besides the fact that Obama hates most
Americans; feeling the need to go around the world apologizing for us?
We just aren't "listening" to Dear Leader close enough. If we could only have a
smidgeon of his intellect we'd know that:
Yep, we're all gonna suffer thanks to Dear Leader. Repeat after me: "Thank you
President Obama, may we have another?"
Can't see London can't see France until we grope your underpants
Americans, failure to listen is no excuse! If we had, we certainly wouldn't have
given Obama and the Dems a "shellacking" four weeks ago.
Now listen up you Fox-filled pea-brains! Dear Leader has blessed us with yet
another amazing policy. Potential flyers are SUPER-XRAYED or have the choice
of a TSA shakedown (sorry, I was thinking of Al Sharpton)-I meant pat down.
What brilliance! Now we can show the whole world how stupid - I mean how
just we are. Instead of copying those clueless, hateful Israelis who have a 40-year
record of safety on El Al Airlines, we molest one and all! How dare those Israelis
target suspicious people, most of whom are Muslim males between the ages of 17
and 40? And besides, that pesky Fourth Amendment can't be that important.
TSA confiscated my Ben Gay.
Our government will touch everyone who refuses to be radiated, from grannies to
babies, nuns to grandpas, blacks, whites and Hispanics. And just so you think our
government can't be reasonable, Dear Leader is considering a waiver of women
dressed in traditional Muslim garb. Of course, then everyone would copy--from
Christian women to short Jewish men — like me.
Rumor has it that to soften the groping and patting, TSA will be forced to buy you
dinner — candlelight and wine dependent on the amount and deepness of body
cavity probes.
New advertising campaigns are popping up with memorable slogans, like, We'll
never rub you the wrong way, or We put the" pat" in "Patriot."
With the new concern over deficits TSA is seeking sponsors. Match.com for those
TSAers with compatible passenger gropes and Oil of Olay for a smoother gentler
probe.
Go ahead check it out on their new website, www.tsawephelia.com
Oh well, it is the holidays and some of us must fly. Let's get back in the mood
with a little holiday cheer! Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Dave Weinbaum |
Mitch Albom | |||||||||||||
