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Jewish World Review Nov. 19, 2012/ 17 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773 Succeed at the secede By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
It's all over but the outrage, whining and whimpering—and THAT'S from the left! Many
on social media are wondering what justifies the existence of us "evil" conservatives—at
all! As far as they're concerned, after their victory, we on the right ought to be shipped
back to our countries of origin.
In my case, that would be Odessa, Russia and Western Romania. Hello Count Dracula
and that Fiddler on the Roof! Save for a few Native American libertarians and some long-
lost, right-leaning ancestors of Leif Ericson, about half the people in the country would be
outta here. Gee, wonder who would fill THAT void.
But maybe, just maybe, there's a consideration to ponder here.
Fifty states have petitioned to secede from the union—only seven left! Seemingly as a
preemptive strike, Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia ruled from the soapbox that the
secession issue was unconstitutional, cemented in precedent by the Civil War. May I
point out, however, that our original Constitution preempted the law of the land we were
adhered to at one time: The United Kingdom.
The secret to a rich life is to
have more beginnings than endings
Rush Limbaugh and Louis Farrakhan are so far apart ideologically that sometimes the
circle comes close to connection. In 1997 Minister Farrakhan came up with a
redistribution of wealth scheme that would award a current US state to black Americans--
payback for "…400 years of our service and sweat and labor."
Limbaugh opined on his post-election radio monologue that since the popular vote was
divided almost equally between Obama and Romney and the animosity between the
parties so stark, we should divvy up the US geography to approximate a 51-49 divide.
Let the Obamaites pick their half of the USA, east or west or north or south. Each is to
be autonomous with separate governments, constitutions and legal systems. If trade or
embassies are engaged between the countries, then so be it— but neither has the right
to confiscate tax revenues from the other side.
We will each be responsible for our own domestic and foreign policy, including energy
sources, and we would each live in separate and autonomous countries. The conservative
half would agree to help train the other side as Farrakhan had opined--but after a pre-
agreed upon period, Obama supporters would be left to survive by their own guile and
effort.
As I often do, I tested this theory on social media. One liberal friend, Kevin, a frequent
critic and caller to my radio show, was so ecstatic Obama won he called me on my
iPhone. Kevin ridiculed me, twisting the knife of the all-too-fresh election wounds to elicit
the most pain. He ended by loudly chanting, "Four more years, four more years!" I
would have been fine with it, if it wasn't at 3:00 AM. Weasel that I am, I took the
recording of this celebratory rant and opened my show with it.
On Facebook, Kevin opined that all the people who voted for Obama in the town he
lived in had jobs. I responded that this was a good thing. As Barack supporters they
would gleefully fork over as much of their hard-earned cash to support the massive
entitlement to those who refused to work in the form of disability, food stamps,
unemployment, free healthcare, green energy fiascos and whatever else an unrestricted
Obama-run government could imagine. I opined that since the Obamaites could no longer
rely on conservative support, he'd need an awful lot of supporters with jobs.
Today, as I was texting to my friend and fellow writer, Candice Lanier, I mentioned that I
was writing this "spoof." I guess she misread it as being a serious piece, one that would
actually be adopted.
Candice warned, "The left wouldn't go for that b/c they need our taxes to finance their
never ending disasters."
Ah, from the mouths of innocents…
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JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Dave Weinbaum |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||||
