Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 19, 2012/ 17 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773

Succeed at the secede

By Dave Weinbaum



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's all over but the outrage, whining and whimpering—and THAT'S from the left! Many on social media are wondering what justifies the existence of us "evil" conservatives—at all! As far as they're concerned, after their victory, we on the right ought to be shipped back to our countries of origin.

In my case, that would be Odessa, Russia and Western Romania. Hello Count Dracula and that Fiddler on the Roof! Save for a few Native American libertarians and some long- lost, right-leaning ancestors of Leif Ericson, about half the people in the country would be outta here. Gee, wonder who would fill THAT void.

But maybe, just maybe, there's a consideration to ponder here.

Fifty states have petitioned to secede from the union—only seven left! Seemingly as a preemptive strike, Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia ruled from the soapbox that the secession issue was unconstitutional, cemented in precedent by the Civil War. May I point out, however, that our original Constitution preempted the law of the land we were adhered to at one time: The United Kingdom.

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings

Rush Limbaugh and Louis Farrakhan are so far apart ideologically that sometimes the circle comes close to connection. In 1997 Minister Farrakhan came up with a redistribution of wealth scheme that would award a current US state to black Americans-- payback for "…400 years of our service and sweat and labor."

Limbaugh opined on his post-election radio monologue that since the popular vote was divided almost equally between Obama and Romney and the animosity between the parties so stark, we should divvy up the US geography to approximate a 51-49 divide. Let the Obamaites pick their half of the USA, east or west or north or south. Each is to be autonomous with separate governments, constitutions and legal systems. If trade or embassies are engaged between the countries, then so be it— but neither has the right to confiscate tax revenues from the other side.

We will each be responsible for our own domestic and foreign policy, including energy sources, and we would each live in separate and autonomous countries. The conservative half would agree to help train the other side as Farrakhan had opined--but after a pre- agreed upon period, Obama supporters would be left to survive by their own guile and effort.

As I often do, I tested this theory on social media. One liberal friend, Kevin, a frequent critic and caller to my radio show, was so ecstatic Obama won he called me on my iPhone. Kevin ridiculed me, twisting the knife of the all-too-fresh election wounds to elicit the most pain. He ended by loudly chanting, "Four more years, four more years!" I would have been fine with it, if it wasn't at 3:00 AM. Weasel that I am, I took the recording of this celebratory rant and opened my show with it.

On Facebook, Kevin opined that all the people who voted for Obama in the town he lived in had jobs. I responded that this was a good thing. As Barack supporters they would gleefully fork over as much of their hard-earned cash to support the massive entitlement to those who refused to work in the form of disability, food stamps, unemployment, free healthcare, green energy fiascos and whatever else an unrestricted Obama-run government could imagine. I opined that since the Obamaites could no longer rely on conservative support, he'd need an awful lot of supporters with jobs.

Today, as I was texting to my friend and fellow writer, Candice Lanier, I mentioned that I was writing this "spoof." I guess she misread it as being a serious piece, one that would actually be adopted.

Candice warned, "The left wouldn't go for that b/c they need our taxes to finance their never ending disasters."

Ah, from the mouths of innocents…

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



Archives


© 2011, Dave Weinbaum

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles