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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2009 / 26 Mar-Cheshvan 5770

Part Two: Advising Obama how to regain his mojo: Or my future as a ‘psychiatric’ patient in northern Alaska

By Dave Weinbaum



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | For Immediate Publication As we left it last week—I was on my way to the White House with a horsy pajama clad leader of the free world, his toadies, Axelrod and Emanuel and three Secret Service Agents. For secrecy measures the President had opted to make a Cessna puddle-jumper the make-shift AF1 to pick me up.

After I applied a little "Godfather" shock therapy, I was about to give President Obama the advise he sorely needs to prevent his administration from descending to the bottom of the cesspool beneath history's worst president, Jimmy Carter!

As bright sunlight now pushes the mighty midget craft to DC, I continue my counseling of the PJ'd Prez.

Somewhere along the trip I had an epiphany. I decided the situation was hopeless. It was time to accept the facts as they were and deal with their hideous reality.

I no longer held any hope that Barack Hussein Obama is capable of change. The evidence of his hatred for the USA is overwhelming.


  • His original reflection of 9/11 was that while a terrible attack occurred we must take notice about the reasons we're hated by those who attacked us.

  • His 2001 statement that the Supreme Court didn't do enough to redistribute wealth—-enter Crap and Charade, single-payer HC, the takeover of banks and auto industries while stealing a good portion of the latter from stockholders and giving it to the unions.

  • His disregard of First Amendment Rights by demonizing Fox, Beck, Limbaugh and Hannity, while he and his toadies called senior citizen Tea Partiers "Evil Mongers."

  • His rush to judgment after admitting he had no facts that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly," while giving a pass to his friend, Professor Louis Gates. Then Obama went into a tirade about cops having a history of picking on blacks and Hispanics.

  • His choice of radicals as czars and advisors in his administration: Valerie Jarrett, Van Jones(resigned), Cap Susstein, Jeff Jones, Anita Mao Tse Dunn(resigned), Zeke "Take a Pill Granny and Die" Emanuel, Kenneth Feinberg, John Holdrin and Ron Bloom,

  • His indecisiveness on Afghanistan after running on the importance of that war to our security.

  • His open animosity toward long-time allies, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Israel, France, and the UK.

  • His absurd comparison of the Holocaust to the plight of the Palestinians.

  • His coddling of Hezbollah, Hamas; Iran, Chavez, Castro, and Russia, plus his heavy borrowing from China.

  • His tendency to frivolous shout-outs before reflection on massacres of American soldiers.

  • His reluctance to say the words "Islamic" in any sentence with "terrorism."

Add that to the hidden vote to release NY prisoners to work on projects for "community organizers in last week's elections. Can you say ACORN?

Obama, "We've gotta have a civilian national security force just as powerful just as strong just as well funded."

Coincidence?

Barack did not fall far from his Reverend Wright.

With the above in mind I council the President:

Weinbaum: "Mr. President, I know this may come as a shock, but most of America, including many former backers and several who are twittering, think you hate the USA. There was ample evidence during the campaign which you and your people cleverly disguised (Axelrod and Emanuel Jump up and hit chests then trade high fives, screaming, "YEAH BABY!") You can't hide your disdain for the USA anymore. Most people, even many former backers, wanted change, but not the elimination of their Constitutional Rights and Capitalism.

Obama: "Weinbaum, pretend time is over. People voted for me to change the country. That's exactly what I'm doing. If they don't like it now, that's tough. After all, I ONE!"

Weinbaum: "Alrighty then. So what do you want from me? You've already got enough sycophantic losers telling you how great you are"

Emanuel: "Yeah boss, you have us!" Axelrod nods in agreement.

Obama: "SILENCE! I still want to hear what he has to say. My popularity is dropping. I don't get it. I thought everyone hated Fox, Beck and Limbaugh! How can America like them and not me!?"

Pilot, shouldn't we have landed at Reagan National?"

Axelrod and Emanuel spit twice in unison.

Slowly, a buxom brunette raises her multi-crested locks and her askew "pilots" lingerie revealing all sorts of delicacies, from the pilot's seat beside her. Slowly, a grey silver head of the pilot next to her swivels toward the back of the plane.

"How'd that happen? I was right on course to DC and my intern, Sheila, dropped the map right under my seat! She's been searching for it! Know what I mean? (Everyone, especially the Secret Service snickers). We passed DC about an hour ago, but I'm on it now."

Obama: "Look Bill I did this as a favor to keep you away from Hillary. I can only send her out of the country 95% of the time. I expected you to at least pay attention to THIS job."

Clinton: "Sorry Mr. President, I'll get you back as soon as if find the ma—-oh that's where you hid it, you minx!" (Sheila bends over and pulls it away from Bill's lap-with her teeth).

"Hey guys, could you classify this as top secret regarding Hillary?"

Weinbaum: "Wow, within about 3 hours both Hillary and Bill have sworn me to secrecy! How many people have that happened to?"

Everyone on the plane, including the minx, the Secret Service, and Barack Obama raised their hands.

Weinbaum: "Mr. President, I could go through all the policies that are going to lose the congress, make you a lame duck and a one-termer, but I think you're looking at this all wrong. You, Dear Leader, are too good for the American people.

Axelrod: "Mr. President, Why are you listening to this moron?"

Obama: "Let him speak!"

Weinbaum: "Mr. President, the people of the world need you. Unlike Americans, they love you. Some even worship you. If you continue as president, You'll get boxed in like your operatives did to Sarah Palin in Alaska." (Another chest bump and high five between Axelrod and Emanuel.) What did she do to avoid destruction?"

Obama: "You mean… ?"

Weinbaum: "Yep, resign, but with a twist. Get the Norwegians to put the fix in at the UN like they did when you "ONE" the Nobel Peace Prize. They'll get you elected to Secretary General of the UN. It'll be like taking salary from an investment banker. Then you'll be positioned to take charge of the planet, something we all know you were born for.

And think of the benefits for your loyal toadies! They can do to… I mean for the world what an unappreciative American Public didn't deserve, 'one ruler Barack Hussein Obama, for eternity!.'"

As the plane lands in DC, a smug contented look spreads in the cabin. Of course in Clinton's case it's from his intern minx's continued searches for dropped or droopy things "under" his seat. Even the horsy on Barack's PJ's looks regal."

Obama: "I'll give it some thought."

Weinbaum: "Do I get that tour of the White House now?"

Obama: "Some other time. You're on your own. I'll deny any knowledge of meeting with you, Weinbaum, is that clear?"

Weinbaum: "Yes Mr. President."

America, it was the best I could do!

As the Rabbi from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF in the tiny Russian shtetl of Anatevka.said at the start of that country's Communist Revolution, "MAY G-D BLESS AND KEEP THE CZAR… … .FAR AWAY FROM US!"

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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