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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov 11, 2011 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5772

Rally Squirrel's case to succeed cards legend: Tony La Russa

By Dave Weinbaum



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Let me introduce my newest success. I am the STL Cardinal anointed Mid-Mo Rally Squirrel. If you don’t believe me look at his Holiness, the STL Cardinal himself, as he blesses me on opening day via my FB page (pictured above). For those in Normal, IL (Cubs fans), the Rally Squirrel came from nowhere to scamper on the field disrupting the powerful Philadelphia Phillies’ quest to squash the Redbirds.

The rest is history. This article is meant to be my application to replace the
irreplaceable Tony La Russa as manager of the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals.

Victories often occur when you see no way
to succeed but refuse to give up anyway

I did my best, along with wife Joni, to cheer the Cards from their dismal opening
day to their miracle finish. I sent minions to games I couldn’t attend to carry on
in my place, utilizing my experience as a 27 year season ticket holder to lead
them to victory in my stead.

Now the coup d’etat, box of hot/salted fries, the cherry on top of my mocha,
a melt-in-your-mouth Matt’s Steakhouse filet: The Cards returned home after
a disastrous 5th game at Texas where Tony had inexplicable communication
problems with his bullpen.  The Cards put the wrong pitchers in the game,
causing defeat.

After that debacle, Texas was on a roll with a 3-2 lead--Rally Squirrel be dammed!

Attending with wife Joni and a couple of friends, the 6th and possibly last
World Series Game started poorly—and got worse. Despite my desperate
attempts to cheer, cajole and box-seat-manage, it got worse. Matt Holliday had
mental letdowns and David Freese froze on an easy popup--both giving Texas
runs and mojo.

At the 7th inning stretch, I considered my options. Just like Tony, I assessed
what power I had to help the Cards. When La Russa was deliberating what
to do during this lackluster performance, so was I.

Sometimes you have to abandon
ship to save the passengers

As much as my wife and I were cheering, the snap to the Rally Squirrel Towel
wasn’t there. Our yelling had gone unheard and our voices became hoarsely
ineffective. I did what any good manager would have done. I decided to fix what
I saw as the problem—us. I tapped my wife’s shoulder and held my hand out for
her towel. She knew. Head down she relinquished the rag. After a gentle slap
on her butt, I handed our shmatas to our friends and told them they had the
Cardinal Nation’s dreams in their hands.

I grabbed my wife’s hand and took her out of the stadium. Yes, there was a
little dragging involved. There was a two hour drive home and I had a radio
show to do in the morning. We listened to the game all the way back home.

Miracle of miracles! My managerial magic was working. Someone from the
Cards, maybe Tony, must have realized we had pulled ourselves out of the game.
Tony must have communicated that the impediment of our performance as
fans could no longer be used as an excuse for the Redbirds’ sloppy play.

My wife and I were incredulous as we listened to the evolving drama of Game
Six. Suddenly the Fred birders began to soar! David Freese and Lance
Berkman took the responsibility off our sagging backs and placed it squarely
on their shoulders. They tied the game twice, down by two runs and the last
strike each time in the 9th and 11th innings.

When Freese
crushed his majestic 420’ shot to Wilt Chamberlain (dead center),
it didn’t register right away. We were stunned at our amazing performance.
Joni and I looked at each other and screamed,
“WE DID IT!! WE DID IT!!”

After my radio show, we went back up for the 7th and deciding contest.
We were on that night. Our cheering was acknowledged, our advice heeded
and our rally-squirrel-towels snapped in the cool night’s fall air.

THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS WERE
ONCE AGAIN WORLD CHAMPIONS!

Since then, probably in gratitude of my masterly moves, Tony announced his
retirement.

This Rally Squirrel has his phone ready and my agent lined up to talk nuts and
tree condos to Card ownership.

To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in
A Few Good Men, “You want me on that
bench --
you need me on that bench!”

My wife Joni has even volunteered to be the towel girl for the locker room!

That’s my story —
and I’m sticking to it!

Call me!

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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