In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 6, 2009 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan 5770

Soon to be outted: My trip to the White House

By Dave Weinbaum

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I know you're not going to believe this, but remember that recently released partial list of White House visitors? SEIU's Andy Stern at 22 visits must have moved into the Lincoln Bedroom. Movie stars George Clooney and Brad Pitt (if this were still the Clinton WH, it would have been Jennifer Anniston and Angie Jolie); Oprah; GE and NBC's Jeff Imelt; phony anti-capitalist capitalist, Michael Moore; patriot short-seller and Israel hater and what many think is to Obama what Cheney was to Bush, George Soros.

Then there's the source of most of the hot air blowing up America's skirts, the Gullible Worming scammer, a man who used to be the next President of the United States, Al Gore.

I didn't see Obama's choice as Afghan war leader General McChrystal on the list but I'm sure he's got THAT under control. Why visit your general or answer his troop requests when you can demonstrate to America how much you care by showing up in the middle of the night, camera crew in tow…..to salute GI's lost on the battlefield? Now that's worth a couple more months of stalling while troops are dying! Take THAT ditherer mongers!

But I digress.

My phone rang at 3:00 AM., Wednesday. Groggily answering, I heard Hillary's scratchy voice. She said they were sending AF1 to pick me up at a local airport to take me back to DC for an urgent visit with President Obama. I was sworn to secrecy. After guaranteeing her that I didn't know where Bill was, I dressed. A limo awaited me.

Man her campaign ads about those 3:00 AM phone calls were true.

When I arrived at the airport, searching for that huge 747, passing one super jet after another, the government driver pulled up to a Cessna single engine puddle jumper and said, "Here you go!"

Weinbaum: "There must be some mistake. I was told I was going on AF1!"

Driver: "If you look inside you'll see why this is AF1."

Crowded in the small vessel was President Obama in animal jammies, buffeted by Rahm Emanuel, David Axelrod and three Secret Service agents. Axelrod pointed to the only empty seat on the plane, next to the President of the United States.

Alrighty then, as the "little AF1 that could" wound itself up and flung into the early morning sky, the conversation began.

Obama: "Weinbaum, you've been a thorn in my side. Yet you had some suggestions that might be worth a try. And don't give me an crap about the PJ's. I had to sneak out of bed to keep this secret."

Weinbaum: "I LOVE the PJs Mr. President and thank you for your observations. It's our First Amendment right to criticize, as you've noted. What can I do to help?"

Obama: "I think it may be too late. I'm caught in the middle. Soros, Moore, Biden and Michelle and the progressives are pushing me to abandon Afghanistan and General McChrystal is demanding 40,000 more troops. Nancy "Stalker" Pelosi is on the phone every hour. Harry Reid is a major pain in the ass. And then there are those lunatics at Fox and on radio, Beck and Limbaugh. My attacks against them have backfired. Even NBC's SNL is making derogatory skits. Who do they think I am George Bush?"

Axelrod and Emanuel spat on the Cessna's floor in unison.

Obama: "The public doesn't like me anymore. Every time I talk about HC, more people hate it. My approval ratings are down to 46%. My negatives are 13% over my positives.

I campaigned for Corzine five times and each time his numbers dropped and that fat boy Chris Christie's rose. Then that idiot Deeds lost big in Virginia, reversing my magnificent Victory by huge numbers.

My poll numbers are dropping faster than Maureen Dowd's cleavage. I've reached out so far to the Muslim world my arms are coming out of their sockets. Ahmadinejad won't talk to me and he lies about his nukes. The Israelis hate me and the PLO is playing me. Even those sucker American Jews who gave me all that cash and support have the gall to doubt me.

Being the president is like being the cream in a cookie. You get smashed from both sides, then dunked and eaten. Dave, I don't know what to do---I don't know what to do."

I jumped out of my seat, approaching Obama quicker than the Secret Service could release their seat belts. Grabbing Obama by the horsy on his Jammies, I shook the president: "YOU CAN ACT LIKE A PRESIDENT!!!! What's the matter with you? Is this what you've become, a Harvard Educated Marxist stooge who can't deal with the real world? Oh what can I do? What can I do? What are you a RINO? That's nonsense… RIDICULOUS! It's an INFAMIA!!"

Sitting back in my seat, I continued: "Do you spend time with your family?"

Obama: "Yes, but I live with my mother-in-law and my wife watches me like a hawk. My daughters are GREAT!"

Weinbaum: "Every man has his crosses to bear. But you can't be a true president unless you spend time with your family. My wife is German, I'm Jewish. You know what it's like sleeping with one eye open? If it wasn't for the whips and chains (everyone else on the plane including the pilot are visibly drooling)….sorry, I'm digressing again."

Now here's what you do…"

As the Cessna bumped and sashayed toward DC, a glimmer of sunlight shoved away darkness on the projectile's tail…

Stay Tuned for next week's episode of "How Obama Can Regain His Mojo" Or "My Future as a 'Psychiatric Patient' in Northern Alaska."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.


© 2009, Dave Weinbaum