In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 31, 2005 / 28 Tishrei, 5766

What's in your closet?

By Dave Weinbaum

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | AP writer, Darlene Superville, headlined a story that'll enhance the lives of every American.

Did she reveal whether yellow cake plutonium was offered to Saddam by Niger?

Did she out the source for Sandy Berger's voluminous drawers?

Did she explain the contents of Osama's Fatwah of '98 where he orders all Muslims to murder every American, every US ally, and every Jew he comes across, man, woman or child?

Nothing as mundane as the above! Superville, a busy important writer, used a photo op provided by Darby Rove when she opened her and Karl's garage door. She revealed the nefarious contents of her and Karl's bizarre possessions to the world media, special prosecutors, grand jurors, neighbors, peeping Toms, and worst of all, scandal hungry Liberals.

The contents divulged much more than Al Capone's safe. Actually, a black hole was more interesting than watching the result of Rivera's tease. Geraldo became the hero to every mob family in the USA.

Ladders, paint cans, cardboard boxes, for G-d's sakes! Hold the presses! Call out Homeland Security! Reconvene the Grand Jury! Make Timmy Russert rake Karl over the coals to explain every item and just how they got into that particular incoherent, seemingly random order.

Well if THIS is considered news, don't fight the wave, ride it. Here's my attempt as a good American at balanced "news". I have it on good source that this is what's in THEIR closet:

1. John Kerry — An up to date encyclopedia of "The Richest Women in the World", 1 nuclear, powder blue, bunny suit, 80,000 cases of "Unfit for Command". A faded 1968 Christmas in Cambodia Poster, fake goose carcass for "hunting" photo ops. 100 cases of Heinz Catsup, per his pre-nup. A set of Bush stamps (the ONLY way he'll ever lick Dubya.)

2. Howie "SCREAM" Dean — One case of eye bulge reducer. Two sets of blinders. Box of love letters from "Babs." Ten cases of throat lozenges.

3. Hillary — Rose Law Firm Billings, copies of "How You can use Your Political Connections to Make Millions in Cattle Futures" and, "How to Marry Your Way Into Leadership, Regardless that Your Husband is a Cheatin' Lyin' Tramp." Tammy Wynette's chocolate chip cookie recipe. A box of Cubans…just in case Bill gets "interested".

4. Bill — One stained blue dress, 25 cases of Viagra, (donations from female contributors) boiler room copies of terrorist indictments, all the facts that were kept out of his presidential library. As hard as we looked, no one could find a moral compass.

5. Teddy Kennedy — 100 cases of Grey Goose vodka, 100 cases of scotch, 100 cases of bourbon. (One month's supply.) Complete set of water wings…for one. One pair of oversized, salt water stained 1969 keds. One set of yellow rubber duckies.

6. ALGORE — 8 personalities, brains not included. Tobacco farmer of the decade award, put away before his heart wrenching diatribe against evil tobacco and its murder of his sister. A copy of "Man on Emission," Tammy Faye's complete make-up kit. All of this was contained in one gigantic lockbox.

7. Cindy Sheehan — A stack of letters from her family begging her to stop sacrificing Casey's voluntary patriotic sacrifice. Ropes to tie her to the White House fence. Velcro to help attach herself to anyone of importance in the Democratic Party. Martha Stewarts book, "How to Support yourself in Prison by Cooking and Crocheting and Not Putting Out."

8. Jesse Jackson — All the Al Sharpton for President Posters he and his sons could tear down. A black book containing all Rainbow and Push "secretaries" phone #s and addresses, as well as a record of payouts and children to be supported. The book, "The art of big time Shakedowns." One big-a— "I AM SOMEBODY" sign.

9. Chuckie Schumer — One Black conservative destruction kit. His own portable news conference karaoke machine. A pin the tail on the Hillary coattail party game.

10. Jimmy Carter — Hard hats for numb skull ex presidents. A book entitled, "How to deflect your own miserable presidency by undermining the current elected chief executive in time of war without getting hung for treason."

11. Koffi Annan — $8 million in unpaid Manhattan parking tickets. Pinups of young girls sent from the Congo UN staff posted there. 6 cases of UN Resolutions condemning Israel already filled out, a list of UN connected jobs for his son after the oil for food money he received dried up.

12. Yassar — $3 billion in cash, much of it US taxpayer $, supposed to be spent on PAL children. The keys to his wife's Paris apartment. A copy of Mien Kampf. A box of love letters from Osama.

13. Chirac — 1,000,000 cases of the best French wine, remaining unsold to America, because of the boycott, $ 1 billion in oil for food bribes from Saddam, and an amnesia inducer that has made him forget America saved France's sorry arse TWICE in the last 80 years.

14. Louie Farrakhan — Shockingly was found to be SHARING a closet with Senator KKK Byrd.

My closet shall remain closed to the press, pundits and general public. While I have nothing to hide, why push it? After all, those of you with skeletons in your closets are irritating to those of us that have none.

What's in YOUR closet?

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.


© 2005, Dave Weinbaum