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Jewish World Review Oct. 11, 2005 / 8 Tishrei, 5766 Current Events Quiz 3 By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Hurricanes, indictments, protestors, impeachment trial balloons, Supreme appointments, screaming from the left, and now Bush Bashing by the right, have occurred since our last quiz. Even MORE important, I got married a few days ago, and I'm worried my powers have been depleted. Therefore, I will accept no apples or fruit pies for bribes. I'm now holding out for Cialis or Viagra.
Pick the best answer. Those that cheat get no internet…2 days!!!
1. Rita and Katrina: A. The next Bush Supreme Court appointees after Harriet. B. Hurricanes maneuvered by the almighty Bush to make New Orleans a Republican stronghold. C. Is the soon to be released sequel to Thelma and Louise. D. Are Senator Chuckie Schumer's staffers sent to criminally destroy black Republican Michael Steele's Senate run in Maryland.
2. Louie Freeh: A. Was appointed FBI director by Bill Clinton. B. Had much of his time taken up with investigations concerning Bill and Hillary, many of which he inherited when he became the official FBI director. C. Took Clinton's blood sample to match up with semen evidence embedded in Monica's dress. D. Was disagreed with by Sandy Berger, Clinton's NSA, who was recently convicted of stuffing classified National Archives in his socks and underwear. Berger was so excited to defend Bill; he was cited for speeding in his rush to call Louie Freeh a liar. E. All of the above. F. None of the above.
3. The best Presidents: A. Are the ones that don't criticize the policies of their successors while they're trying to run the country. B. Are all dead. C. Were Lincoln, Reagan, Washington, and JFK. D. Are Martin Sheen and Geena Davis. E. A and B. F. C and D.
4. Osama: A. Is scoffing at our efforts to nail him. B. Laughed so hard after Clinton indicted him, he burst a kidney. C. Created Katrina and Rita to attack the USA in Allah's name. D. Has signed a deal with Nike for their "Terrorist on the run Marathon" Promotion complete with exploding swooshes on the shoes. E. All of the above.
5. Cindy Sheehan: A. Was an activist long before her son Casey was killed in the war on terrorism. B. Was ignored by Hillary when Cindy demanded she meet with her. C. Was subjected to the MIA of top Democrats in her march for peace in DC. D. Urged to stop what she was doing by most members of her family, because it demeaned Casey and encouraged the enemy to kill more GI'S. E. Demanded that American troops be taken out of Occupied Iraq and New Orleans. F. All of the above.
6. Ann Coulter blasted the appointment of Harriet Miers because: A. Bush didn't pick the obvious choice…Ann Coulter. B. Bush was a drunk in the 80's, as she so eloquently pointed out, proving that conservatives can use ad hominem attacks, but not Liberals. C. She isn't aware that the Constitution grants the president power to pick Supreme Court Justices and the Senate gets to advise, consent, and vote. D. Hated the Roberts pick and feels she must be consistent. E. Is coming out of the closet as a Bush hater, and possibly much worse, a Liberal.
7. Baseball: A. Fired an umpire when he demanded personalized home plates. B. Has become an entertaining distraction from hurricanes, high gas prices, political follies, terrorist attacks, and war as it always does this time of year. C. Will implode next year due to steroid scandals. D. Will replace Bud Selig with Jose "Shoot 'em up" Canseco as Commissioner. E. Will ban Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Raphael Palmero, and Barry Bonds from becoming Bush Supreme Court Nominees.
8. According to some Muslim Clerics, Katrina was sent to America by Allah. If that's true, then the earthquake that took 20,000 Muslims and the tsunami that killed over 200,000 Muslims: A. Were freaks of nature. B. Were Zionist plots. C. Were tests of how many Muslims could be saved by America, so the Islamic terrorists could kill more Americans. D. Were Allah's way of separating the good Muslims from the bad. E. All of the above. G. None of the above.
9. Tom Delay: A. Is getting his just desserts for being such an effective Demo killer. B. Is getting a bum rap by a sleazy Demo prosecutor. C. Will spend 5 to 10 years getting his revenge. D. Will end up with a roommate ironically nicknamed, Bubba.
10. Bill Bennett: A. Should get his mouth washed out with soap. B. Is running for the head of the Grand Dragon of the KKK. C. Was right in what he said and should stand by it. D. Better hire his lawyer brother to defend him in the slander suits to follow. E. By virtue of his knowledge of his free speech, will be the next Bush nominee for the Supreme Court.
Answers: B, E, A, B, F, A, B, C, B, A.
0-1 Wrong: Bill Bennett's new PR agent. 2-3 wrong: New head of FEMA. 3-4 wrong: Kanye West's racial sensitivity consoler. 5-6 wrong: Replacement for Mayor Nagin as king of the Big Easy. 7-8 wrong: The Democrat's next Presidential Candidate.
How'd you do?
I'm goin' down to the land of crawfish and jambalaya…as soon as Bush sends me $250 Billion of your money I've got comin' to me…'er New Orleans I mean. It's good to be king…I mean mayor.
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© 2005, Dave Weinbaum |
Mitch Albom | |||||||||||
