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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 16, 2005 / 11 Av, 5765

I wish I wouldn't have said that

By Dave Weinbaum


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There are plenty of things I regret saying during my lifetime. This summer I told my stepson I'd go on "THE BOSS" rollercoaster after he baited me with "You're just a tired old man." I'm still trying to figure out how many brain cells that crazy ride murdered. They say a picture in the post office is worth 1000 subpoenas. The photo of me amongst the happy screaming teens on that ride proves that as we age the more terrified we appear. Later that week I tried to donate my brain to science, but they were only taking used ones. That's the LAST roller coaster I take, no matter how severe the challenge.

Below are a few things that people have said which have led to less than desirable results. After all the choices we make dictates the life that we lead.

1. Rafael Palmero: "Let me start by telling you this. I've never used steroids. Period."(…As he pointed his finger at members of Congress.)

2. Bill Clinton:"I never had sex with that woman!" Was he referring to Hillary? Never mind!

3. Bill Clinton: "Let's indict Osama. That'll bring him to justice!" Rumor has it Bin Ladin burst a kidney, he was laughing so hard.

4. Rafael Palmero: "Let me start by telling you this. I've never used steroids. Period."(…As he pointed his finger at members of Congress.)

5. Howard Dean: "It looks today…like women will be worse off in Iraq than they were when Saddam…was President of Iraq." Hey, Howie, we could always bring back the rape rooms! Is he a Karl Rove plant or what?

6. Howard Dean: "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!" Bet he regrets THAT one!

7. Madeline Albright: "Iraq is a long way from the U.S., but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face." But her accessories were to die for!

8. Senator Babs Boxer: "Iraq made commitments after the Gulf War to completely dismantle all weapons of mass destruction, and unfortunately, Iraq has not lived up to its agreement." Didn't you practically indict Secretary of State Condi Rice for saying the same thing?

9. Bill Clinton: "If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." Too bad you're concept of effective action was grabbing unsuspecting women and interns.

10. Ex-Senator and minority leader, Tom Daschle: "Iraq is not the only nation in the world to possess weapons of mass destruction, but it is the only nation with a leader who has used them against his own people." To bad you didn't stick to that. How'd that last election go for you, Senator?

11. Ex-VP ALGORE: "Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." Oh well, thanks for the Internet, anyway.

12. Alec Baldwin: "I think my exact comment was that if Bush won it would be a good time to leave the United States. I'm not necessarily going to leave the United States." I hear stardom is waiting for you in France.

13. George Clooney: "America can't beat anyone anymore." Sorta like you in a 3 on 3 game, eh George? Want to play horse?

14. Tim Robbins: "Americans accept that gangsters are running the government." Gee, Timmy, you Dems lost another election! Couldn't be anyone's fault on the left, could it?

15. Martin Sheen: "George W Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd, a moron, if you'll pardon the expression." So after Dubya put a barrel of whoop-ass on the Dems in the last five elections, Marty, what does that make you? Sub-moron?

16. Ariel Sharon: "One must not negotiate under fire. There will be no concession to terror. A unilateral withdrawal is not a recipe for peace. It is a recipe for war." Hope you're wrong about that Ari. I don't think you were.

17. Senator John Kerry Member of the Senate Intelligence Committee: "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime…He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation…And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for WMDS…So the threat of Saddam with WMDS is real…" How many flip flops since THAT statement, Senator (Not President.)?

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18. Senator Pat Murray: "He's (Osama) been out in these countries for decades, building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day-care centers…and these people are grateful. We haven't done that." THANK YOU OSAMA, WE DESERVE ANOTHER!

19. "John Kerry, reporting for duty!" How'd that work for you, Senator (Not President)?

20. Barbra Streisand: "We cannot let the right wing roll back more than 30 years of social progress." Just think, if left backed abortion hadn't prevailed, the Dems would have had 40 million more young constituents to vote for them. Can't have your abortions and win elections too, can you Babs?

21. Michael Moore: "Americans are the dumbest people on the planet…" Especially the ones that believe anything you say.

There you have it…a snippet of those who if they don't regret some of the things they've said and continue to sputter, ought to.

A twisted mind is hard to wrap your arms around.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.



JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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