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Jewish World Review May 11, 2005 / 2 Iyar, 5765 The First Annual Weinie Awards By Dave Weinbaum http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Every once in awhile we should take pause from our lives and contemplate the people that make a difference. We need appreciate those of us that make the world interesting and special. We need recognize their contributions to the human condition, both negative and positive. We need to tease those of whom we're admiring, jealous of, or are amused by. And yes, the more important should be brought down to earth…even mocked, if only just to make ourselves feel better in our own mundane little world. So here goes; the first annual Weinie Awards (pronounced whiney, NOT weenee!) 1. Most accomplished cheerleader…George W. Bush. 2. Most nimble college speaker and pie dodger…Ann Coulter. 3. Best effort in ruination of their own political party…Senators Kennedy, Kerry, Daschle, Michael Moore, George Soros, Harry Reid, Terry McAuliffe, Dr. Howie "The Scream" Dean. (Name your own Southpaw…there are sooo many!) 4. World's shortest column…Pat Buchanan's kind words for Israeli USA relations. 5. Largest contrast in living conditions…Saddam Hussein. 6. Weinie whiney award…John Kerry, Al Gore (Name your favorite Lib) 7. Lamest excuse for Congressional Testimony…Mark McGwire. 8. Worst mustache award…John Bolton. 9. Best imitation of broadcasting while dead…Don Imus. 10. Best press relations…Barry Bonds. 11. Media's toughest news manager…Brit Hume. 12. World's nerdiest hard-hitting commentator…Bill Kristol. 13. Man in the wrong party award…Joe Lieberman, John McCain. 14. Fastest talker on TV…Chris Matthews. 15. Funniest person in Washington…Laura Bush. 16. Best political architect…Karl Rove. 17. Most arrogant judge award…George W. Greer 18. Crookedest Ally…Jacque Chirac. 19. Wackiest Enemy…Kim Jong-il 20. Most self-absorbed life…Jane Fonda 21. Conservative pioneer…William F. Buckley, Rush Limbaugh. 22. Liberal Pioneer…Karl Marx 23. Frozen feet award…Jennifer Wilbanks 24. Die with your boots on award…The Pope. 25. Employee relations award…al Zarqawi, 26. Most elusive…Osama bin Ladin, Intelligent Liberal Argument. 27. The MIA Award…Liberal Talk Radio Ratings. 28. Busiest Judge…Paula Abdul. 29. Best Opinion Web Site…www.jewishworldreview.com 30. A-- Kissing Award…Dave Weinbaum. Like it or not, here's my list for the first annual Weinies. Pick your own and let me know! Have fun! Any suggestions on what the award should look like? Now I must find a Network smart enough to put it on air. Hey Dan Rather's not doing much these days. Maybe he'll MC! Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here. Archives © 2005, Dave Weinbaum

Columnists Mitch Albom Jay Ambrose Bruce Bialosky Lori Borgman Ben Carson Mona Charen Richard Z. Chesnoff Alicia Colon Ann Coulter Greg Crosby Larry Elder Suzanne Fields Christine Flowers Bernie Goldberg Jonah Goldberg Paul Greenberg Argus Hamilton Victor Davis Hanson Froma Harrop Ron Hart Nat Hentoff A. Barton Hinkle Laura Hollis Jeff Jacoby Jack Kelly Ch. Krauthammer David Limbaugh Rich Lowry Michelle Malkin Ann McFeatters Dana Milbank Jeanne Moos Dick Morris Jim Mullen Judge A. Napolitano Kathleen Parker Star Parker Dennis Prager Wesley Pruden Tom Purcell Sharon Randall Michael Reagan Robert Robb Dave Ross Debra J. Saunders Martin Schram Robert Samuelson David Shribman Roger Simon Lenore Skenazy Michael Smerconish Thomas Sowell Mark Steyn John Stossel Cal Thomas Dan Thomasson Bob Tyrrell Dave Weinbaum George Will Walter Williams Byron York Cathy Young Mort Zuckerman Toons Eric Allie Robert Arial Baloo Pat Bagley Nate Beeler Lisa Benson Chip Bok Dry Bones John Branch Daryl Cagle Cameron Cardow Patrick Chappatte John Cole Paul Combs J. D. Crowe John Darkow Bill Day Matt Davies John Deering Bob Englehart Brian Duffy Everything's Relative Randall Enos Mallard Fillmore David Fitzsimmons Glenn Foden Jake Fuller Bob Gorrel Walt Handelsman Joe Heller David Hitch Jerry Holbert David Horsey Taylor Jones Lee Judge Steve Kelley Mike Keefe Jeff Koterba Dick Locher Chan Lowe Jimmy Margulies RJ Matson Gary McCoy Rick McKee Paresh Nath Jack Ohman Jeff Parker Milt Priggee Michael Ramirez Rob Rogers Steve Sack Bill Schorr Drew Sheneman Kevin Siers David Ray Skinner Jeff Stahler Scott Stantis Danna Summers Gary Varvel Kirk Walters Christopher Weyant Larry Wright Dan Wasserman Adam Zyglis Lifestyles Tech Q&A Ask Doctor K Richard Lederer Bookmark These Bruce Williams