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Jewish World Review May 11, 2005 / 2 Iyar, 5765 The First Annual Weinie Awards By Dave Weinbaum http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Every once in awhile we should take pause from our lives and contemplate the people that make a difference. We need appreciate those of us that make the world interesting and special. We need recognize their contributions to the human condition, both negative and positive. We need to tease those of whom we're admiring, jealous of, or are amused by. And yes, the more important should be brought down to earth…even mocked, if only just to make ourselves feel better in our own mundane little world. So here goes; the first annual Weinie Awards (pronounced whiney, NOT weenee!) 1. Most accomplished cheerleader…George W. Bush. 2. Most nimble college speaker and pie dodger…Ann Coulter. 3. Best effort in ruination of their own political party…Senators Kennedy, Kerry, Daschle, Michael Moore, George Soros, Harry Reid, Terry McAuliffe, Dr. Howie "The Scream" Dean. (Name your own Southpaw…there are sooo many!) 4. World's shortest column…Pat Buchanan's kind words for Israeli USA relations. 5. Largest contrast in living conditions…Saddam Hussein. 6. Weinie whiney award…John Kerry, Al Gore (Name your favorite Lib) 7. Lamest excuse for Congressional Testimony…Mark McGwire. 8. Worst mustache award…John Bolton. 9. Best imitation of broadcasting while dead…Don Imus. 10. Best press relations…Barry Bonds. 11. Media's toughest news manager…Brit Hume. 12. World's nerdiest hard-hitting commentator…Bill Kristol. 13. Man in the wrong party award…Joe Lieberman, John McCain. 14. Fastest talker on TV…Chris Matthews. 15. Funniest person in Washington…Laura Bush. 16. Best political architect…Karl Rove. 17. Most arrogant judge award…George W. Greer 18. Crookedest Ally…Jacque Chirac. 19. Wackiest Enemy…Kim Jong-il 20. Most self-absorbed life…Jane Fonda 21. Conservative pioneer…William F. Buckley, Rush Limbaugh. 22. Liberal Pioneer…Karl Marx 23. Frozen feet award…Jennifer Wilbanks 24. Die with your boots on award…The Pope. 25. Employee relations award…al Zarqawi, 26. Most elusive…Osama bin Ladin, Intelligent Liberal Argument. 27. The MIA Award…Liberal Talk Radio Ratings. 28. Busiest Judge…Paula Abdul. 29. Best Opinion Web Site…www.jewishworldreview.com 30. A-- Kissing Award…Dave Weinbaum. Like it or not, here's my list for the first annual Weinies. Pick your own and let me know! Have fun! Any suggestions on what the award should look like? Now I must find a Network smart enough to put it on air. Hey Dan Rather's not doing much these days. Maybe he'll MC! Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here. Archives © 2005, Dave Weinbaum

Columnists Jay Ambrose Anne Applebaum Dan Balz Robert Barnes Aaron Blake Bruce Bialosky Callum Borchers L. Brent Bozell Stephen Carter Mona Charen Alicia Colon Robert Costa Greg Crosby Larry Elder Noah Feldman Suzanne Fields Jonah Goldberg Paul Greenberg Argus Hamilton Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt Laura Hollis James Hohmann Jeff Jacoby John Kass Ch. Krauthammer Eli Lake Charles Lane David Limbaugh Rich Lowry Andrew Malcolm Michelle Malkin Megan McArdle Jeanne Moos Dick Morris Jim Mullen Judge A. Napolitano Kathleen Parker Ramesh Ponnuru Dennis Prager Wesley Pruden Glenn Reynolds Ed Rogers Dave Ross Debra J. Saunders Ben Shapiro David Shribman Lenore Skenazy Thomas Sowell Mark Steyn John Stossel Sean Sullivan Marc Thiessen Cal Thomas Bob Tyrrell David Von Drehle David Weigel Bill Whalen George Will Walter Williams Byron York Cathy Young Salena Zito Toons Nate Beeler Lisa Benson Chip Bok Dry Bones Bill Bramhall John Branch Daryl Cagle John Cole Jeff Danziger John Darkow Bill Day Matt Davies Sean Delonas Bob Englehart Brian Duffy Everything's Relative Randall Enos Mallard Fillmore David Fitzsimmons Jake Fuller Ed Gamble Bob Gorrel Dave Granlund Walt Handelsman Joe Heller David Hitch Jerry Holbert David Horsey Taylor Jones Lee Judge Steve Kelley Mike Keefe Jeff Koterba Chan Lowe Jimmy Margulies RJ Matson Gary McCoy Rick McKee Paresh Nath Jack Ohman Milt Priggee Michael Ramirez Rob Rogers Steve Sack Bill Schorr Mike Shelton Drew Sheneman Kevin Siers Mike Smith Scott Stantis Danna Summers Gary Varvel Kirk Walters Dan Wasserman Adam Zyglis Lifestyles Tech Q&A Ask Doctor K Richard Lederer Bookmark These Bruce Williams