Jewish World Review
Jan. 20, 2006
/ 20 Teves, 5766
Now it's a real gamble to go to Vegas
Harry Reid has blown a gasket. He's now demanding the bearded head of Homeland Security maven, Marvin "The Hurricane" Chertoff. Marv has become the handicapper de jour of the USA. He has determined through scientific analysis that Las Vegas is no longer a risk…for terrorist attacks.
Everyone but Senator Reid could predict the death sentence for Vegas.
Harry supported the first Patriot Act with his smiling, gushing, presence by hamming for the cameras while Bush penned the first Patriot Act into law. Harry, upon learning of the latest anti security vote, said, "Think of what happened 20 minutes ago in the US Senate. WE KILLED THE PATRIOT ACT!" You'd think he'd cornered Osama at DNC headquarters.
Harry is livid! He tried to give Marv a piece of his mind but didn't have enough to spare. Since when can a self acclaimed Bush enemy expect to gain from publicly bragging against an act that has kept America safe from attack the last 4 ¼ years after 9/11?
Of course Harry wants his cake and Edith too! I'd like to think that Senator Reid was setting Bush up…but for what, a repeal of the act that prevents presidents from running for a third term?
Now I like revenge and retribution against libiots that hurt the USA like any other self respecting conservative.
But enough is enough!
There HAVE been viable threats. Five of the 9/11 terrorists had visited the Glitter city. Investigation of a cell in Detroit revealed that terrorists had plans to attack Vegas. On New Year's Eve, 2003, the Federal Government put out an alert and demanded customer lists from airlines servicing the Gambler's Mecca and its hotels.
OK, Marvin, declare Mission accomplished! Harry Reid has been reduced to the blubbering hypocritical fool that he is.
Now it's time to be in the real world and deal Vegas back on the list. Don't do it for Harry. Do it because it's the right thing. Vegas entertained close to 40 million visitors last year. New Year Vegas revelers surpassed the highly protected crowd gathered at Times Square.
AN OASIS NOT A MIRAGE
Vegas has been growing like a well fed oasis, since it became a glint in Bugsy's eye. It's been inundated with a hurricane of cash from gamblers, honeymooners, retirees, vacationers, and conventioneers from all over the world. Did I mention that most of the latter are gamblers also?
There's something there for everyone. Heck, even the religious meet there to find out what the sinners are all excited about, pulling slot handles and playing blackjack so they can feel the depravity of lost bettor's souls. I know they just hate it, especially if they win.
Add to that the permanent and exploding tourist worker's population and the support they need in the form of housing, schools, Wal-marts, Targets, and McDonald's and you've got a steamroller of growth that started in the late 40's and is going strong today.
WHAT HAPPENS IN DC SHOULD STAY IN DC
The glitter and glitz of Las Vegas is definitely a target for fundamentalist terrorists. The lifestyle is the antithesis of fanatical Muslims. McCarran's International Airport traffic ranks 7th in the world. Accessibility by well disguised terrorists is entirely feasible. High rises are becoming common and hotels house up to 10 thousand or more guests…EACH!
Okay, Marv, so the Senator from Nevada, Harry "I'm not returning the bribe" Reid, is a no good, filibustering, hysterical libiot, pain in the ass. Let bygones be bygones and get Vegas its protection dough…after the Patriot Act is passed for the foreseeable future.
I know a guy who knows a fellow that's a cousin to the bartender at the Bellagio, Manny Innuendo. He can comp you tickets to Celine. Sorry, but Streisand's a stretch.
If that doesn't work out, Harry can get you comped at various Indian Casinos. He has connections, you know.
Marvin, you've made your point, now roll the dice…again.
Good luck…and no snake-eyes, please.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Dave Weinbaum