February 10, 2012 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The biblical case against small-mindedness involved diminishing His precious prophet Caroline B. Glick: The Peace Process is over. Finally Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage Rachel Koning Beals: Gen X Women Continue to Shrink Gender Investing Gap The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Who Says You Can't Make Restaurant Favorites at Home?: MANGO AND STICKY RICE February 9, 2012 Jeff Strickler: An argument a day keeps the divorce away, they say Clifford D. May: CAIR's Crusade against The Third Jihad Melissa Healy: Study finds jolt to the brain boosts memory Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Winter Squash and Red Swiss Chard Risotto is Colorful Cozy Cold Weather Fare (includes detailed dos and don'ts) February 8, 2012 Rivy Poupko Kletenik: Tree hostility: The auspicious history of the evolution of Tu B'Shevat Steven Emerson: Planting Trees is Racist?! Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups Anne Applebaum: Russia's Potemkin democracy Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs Emily Brandon: 10 Necessities for a Great Retirement Spot The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets) February 7, 2012 Kathleen Hennessey and Christi Parsons: Obama not worried that birth-control move will hurt his re-election chances with Catholics, other faithful Caroline B. Glick: Obama's rhetorical storm Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design David Francis: How to Avoid an IRS Audit The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: These homemade energy bars (3 recipes) are far better workout fuel than commercial ones, packing power and taste February 6, 2012 Scott Peterson: Iran's top ayatollah: We're trumping the West Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland' Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good Philip Moeller: Where Smart Investors Put Their Money Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard? The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: Vegetable Frittata --- leftovers never tasted so scrumptious February 3, 2012 Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Living with ideals --- in reality Caroline B. Glick: Fool me twice Jonathan Tobin : Adelsonphobia Strikes in Nevada Caucus Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US Kimberly Palmer : 8 Ways to Get Ready for Retirement Now Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: A quick cookie recipe: Hazelnut and Olive Oil Shortbread: Sweet, Nutty, and Savory February 2, 2012 Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt : Welcome Home, Governor Perry Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran Kelsey Sheehy : 5 Tips for Choosing an M.B.A. Concentration Rachel Koning Beals : Investors Increasingly Tap Social Media for Stock Tips Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Savory vegetable pie is a taste of European bistro with minimal effort and maximal flavor February 1, 2012 Nara Schoenberg: What to do when you've been dissed Michelle Malkin: First, They Came for the Catholics Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran Lisa M. Krieger: Possible breakthrough in preventing Alzheimer's Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures Susan Johnston: 5 Apps for Organizing Your Expenses at Tax Time The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The famed chef's Broccoli and White Bean Soup can easily be a lunch in itself, or a nice antipasto --- and is hard to mess up January 31, 2012 Paul Greenberg: Separation of Church and State works two ways Caroline B. Glick: Hamas and the Washington establishment Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Uncle Sam is joining in efforts to crack down on Islamists' critics Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Worst Cities for Finding a Job Laura McMullen: 3 Tips to Overcome a Bad Grade in College The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Orzo dish mixes plump, chewy grains with caramelized onions, garlic, mushrooms and sweet potato January 30, 2012 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Blind faith and physics Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers Menachem Wecker: 3 Do's and Don'ts for Healthy Studying in College The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Butternut Squash Gratin with Tomato Fondue is a combination of the sweet and creamy January 27, 2012 Rabbi Berel Wein: What Pharaoh can teach us sophisticates about being stubborn Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Barigoule is a light and tangy dish of artichoke hearts stewed in white wine January 26, 2012 Jonathan Tobin: Newt the closet anti-Semite? Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news Martin Peretz: One Year Later: The Failure of the Arab Spring Rachel Koning Beals: Need to Know info before investing in Muni Bonds this year Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross: Curried Coconut Carrot Soup. Need we say more? January 25, 2012 Andrew Silow-Carroll: Speak politics the Jewish way! Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For Menachem Wecker: Adding an extra 'm' -- marriage -- to that M.B.A. Melissa Healy: Harnessing shrooms' magic The Kosher Gourmet by Hilary Meyer: 3 Secrets Leave All of the Comfort in this 'Comfort Food', but few of the Calories January 24, 2012 Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out' Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court Jada A. Graves: 6 Careers to Watch in 2012 Jason Koebler: Who Should Have Access to Student Records? Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: This luscious fruit bread marries toasted pecans with juicy pears. Perfect with a pot of tea January 23, 2012 Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary Stephanie Hanes: Toddlers to tweens: Relearning how to play Jack Kelly : Still ignoring history Rachel Koning Beals: Awkward Questions You Must Ask Your Financial Adviser Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Spanakopita is a golden pie that manages to be healthy yet still taste indulgent January 19, 2012 Clifford D. May: How terrorists lose their stigma Suzanne Bohan: Vanquishing social anxieties without drugs Lisa Fernandez and Sean Webby: In alternative lifestyle, domestic violence means men as victims and women being abusers Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Best Cities for Finding a Job The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Three bean soup with gremolata January 18, 2012 Edward I. Koch: Why the Crocodile Tears, Hillary? David G. Savage: Supreme Court to Principals: You have been warned George Friedman of Stratfor: Iran, the U.S. and the Strait of Hormuz Crisis Jason Koebler: 'Holy Grail' of Flu Vaccines by Next Year Alex M. Parker: The Off-the-Radar Congressional Targets of 2012 The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Got soft apples? Make Apple-Maple Walnut Breakfast Quinoa January 17, 2012 Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Believe it or not, your cuppa joe offers potential health perks David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors Confronting the Car Nerds on their home turf --- the Detroit Auto Show (VIDEO; 3 minutes) The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Eleventh-Hour Freezer Pasta, Made Interesting: Ravioli with romesco sauce; Tortellini salad with apples and walnuts January 13, 2012 Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Expansion Of Spirit (PROFOUND yet UPLIFTING) Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time Rachel Koning Beals:Top Complaints About Daily Deal Sites --- how to avoid missteps Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Braised Oxtail Stew with Olives January 12, 2012 Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony Ken Dilanian and David S. Cloud: In secret study, CIA and 15 other U.S. intelligence agencies warn Obama against leaving Afghanistan too soon John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree Menachem Wecker : 4 Technology Must Haves for Online Students The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream January 11, 2012 Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules Rachel Koning Beals: Should You Invest in Bond Funds or Individual Issues? The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand : Colorful Lentil Salad with Walnuts and Herbs January 10, 2012 Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations Paul Bedard: Study: Is Fox Too Balanced? Rachel Koning Beals: Is it Time to Move into Homebuilder Stocks? The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: Brothy Chinese Noodles Half the Sodium (and More Than Twice the Fiber!) January 9, 2012 Caroline B. Glick: The land-for-peace hoax (MUST-READ/FORWARD/SHARE) Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court Bonnie Miller Rubin: The new college-admission essay: Short and tweet(ish) Rachel Koning Beals: Why Mid-Caps Stand Out in This Slow-Growth Stretch The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Cumin seed roasted cauliflower with salted yogurt, mint and pomegranate seeds January 6, 2012 Jonathan Rosenblum: Greatness --- and those who sully it Clifford D. May: The Historian, the Diplomat, and the Spy Paul Bedard: Study: Obama Is Late Night's Biggest Joke Rachel Koning Beals: An Investing Guide to Closed-End Funds The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Slow Cooker Peppered Beef Shank in Red Wine

Jewish World Review March 17, 2008 / 10 Adar II 5768 Fixing your home can truly be a bonding experience By Dave Barry http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Today's topic for homeowners is: how to install a tile floor. Any home decorator will tell you that there is nothing quite like a tile floor for transforming an ordinary room into an ordinary room that has tile on the floor. But if you're like most homeowners, you think that laying tile is a job for the "pros." Boy, are you ever stupid! Because the truth is that anybody can do it! All it takes is a little planning, the right materials and a fire rescue unit. Consider the true story of a woman in Linthicum, Md., who decided to tile her kitchen floor, as reported in an excellent front-page newspaper article written by Eric Collins for The Capital in Annapolis, Md., and sent in by many alert readers. According to this article, the woman, who wanted to be identified only as "Anne" for reasons that will become clear, decided to surprise her fiancé by tiling her kitchen floor herself, thus saving the $700 a so-called "expert" would have charged for the job. Step 1, of course, was for Anne to spread powerful glue on the floor, so the tiles would be bonded firmly in place. Anne then proceeded to Step 2, which - as you have probably already guessed - was to slip and fall face-first into the glue coat she created in Step 1, thus bonding herself to the floor like a gum wad on a hot sidewalk. Fortunately, Anne was not alone. Also in the house, thank goodness, was one of the most useful companions a person can ever hope to have: a small dog. Specifically, it was a Yorkshire terrier, a breed originally developed in England to serve as makeup applicators. A full-grown "Yorkie" is about the size of a standard walnut, although it has more hair and a smaller brain. Anne's dog, named Cleopatra, saw that her owner was in trouble, so she immediately ran outside and summoned a police officer. Ha ha! No, seriously, Cleopatra did what all dogs do when their owners are in trouble: lick the owner's face. Dogs believe this is the correct response to every emergency. If Lassie had been a real dog, when little Timmy was sinking in the quicksand, Lassie, instead of racing back to the farmhouse to get help, would have helpfully licked Timmy on the face until he disappeared, at which point Lassie, having done all she could for him, would have resumed licking herself. So anyway, when Cleopatra decided to help out, she naturally also became stuck in the glue. But again, luck was on Anne's side, because also at home were her two daughters, ages 9 and 10, who, realizing that the situation was no joking matter, immediately, in the words of the Capital article, "began laughing hysterically." Eventually, with their help, Anne got unstuck from the floor and was able to lay the tile. But she still had glue all over herself. So, according to the Capital article, "she called a glue emergency hotline, but no one answered." Still trying to solve her personal glue problem, she called a tile contractor. During this conversation, the glue on her body hardened, such that (1) her right foot became stuck to the floor; (2) her legs became stuck together; (3) her body became stuck to a chair; and (4) her hand became stuck to the phone. "I had to dial 911 with my nose," she is quoted as saying. When the rescue personnel arrived, they found Anne still stuck. Perhaps this is a good time in our story to bring up the fact that she had been working in, and was still wearing, only her underwear. Fortunately, the rescue crews were serious, competent, highly trained professionals, and thus, to again quote the Capital article, they "laughed until they cried." Once they recovered, the rescue crews were able to free Anne by following the standard procedure for this type of situation: licking her face. No, seriously, they freed her with solvents, and everything was fine. Anne got her new floor and saved herself $700, which I am sure more than makes up for suffering enough humiliation to last four or five lifetimes. So the bottom line, homeowners, is this: Don't be afraid to tackle that tile job! Just be sure to have a dog handy, and always remember the No. 1 rule of tile installation professionals: Wear clean underwear. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Previously: The lies about this mammal just drive me batty In spin cycle of love, hard to be delicate It's just not the time to thumb our nose at bagels Latest fitness Rx for men is a yawn My daughter's party, I'll cry if I want to Sanguine ride on rabid transportation One experiment worth repeating Nothing like a good trip to help me see the light The lord of the dance doesn't have anything on me Invention clearly worth the brewhaha Safe on the slopes Why-oh-why-oh-why-oh… A gross national columnist Mr. Language Person: Weird word I (cough) was a teenage smoker! Frogs hop into the headlines Great American turkeys Mr. Fixit strikes again ‘Einstein Gap’: It's all relative Lost in space The Trojan Twinkie Caper MR. LANGUAGE PERSON: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! Feeding your worst fears Sock it to 'em, sartorially The rubber band man Does public art make sense? Needling the birthday boy On calamities (in the sky and on your head) Modern medical mysteries Bored games Dave's Field of Nightmares Lewis and Clark stepped here! The ultimate water gun Poetic license, with no rhyme or reason Great moments in science This won't hurt a bit One giant leap for frogkind My visit to Nether-Netherland Smile and say cheese Shooting carps in Wisconsin The perfect storm Stickup in aisle 3 Please don't feed the tourists Land of the Frozen Earwax The birth of wail Honk if you're married and can't cope with anger Rabbit ears get poor reception Percentage of frogs in food jumps Night of the living roach Mr. Language Person: Some words of wisdomality Mind your P's and Q's and teas Loose lips sink sequels NOW WE'RE COOKIN'! The right to Bear clubs Science: It's just not fair Road warrior specials Where's the beef? (Low fat) There is nothing like a male (guys) MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Rooting for the midgets of the Midway Revolt of the rodents He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’ All bets are off How do you spell S-A-T? Sour grapes and mud Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories The funny side of ‘Beowulf’ HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN! Abs-olute madness Beware of brainy bugs I'm in a sorry state The frog plague: The inside story If she had a hammer…. Keeping an eye on crime Camping and Lewis and Clark When in Iowa, don't forget to duck Junior takes the wheel Growing old with Dave Sites for sore eyes Beware of sheep droppings Ireland, land of bad Elvis Mr. Peabrain's misadventures When they're out to get you, keep cool Mothers of invention Kill 'em with kindness © 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Arnold Ahlert  Mitch Albom  Jay Ambrose  Michael Barone  Barrywood  Tony Blankley  Lori Borgman  Stratfor Briefing  Mona Charen  Linda Chavez  Richard Z. Chesnoff  Ann Coulter  Greg Crosby  Alan Douglas  Larry Elder  Suzanne Fields  Frank J. Gaffney  Bernie Goldberg  Jonah Goldberg  Julia Gorin  Jonathan Gurwitz  Paul Greenberg  Argus Hamilton  Victor Davis Hanson  Betsy Hart  Ron Hart  Nat Hentoff  Marybeth Hicks  David Horowitz  Jeff Jacoby  Renee James  Paul Johnson  Jack Kelly  Ed Koch  Ch. Krauthammer  Michael Ledeen  John Leo  David Limbaugh  Kathryn Lopez  Rich Lowry  Michelle Malkin  Jackie Mason  Ann McFeatters  Dale McFeatters  Dana Milbank  Jeanne Moos  Dick Morris  Jim Mullen  Deroy Murdock  Judge A. Napolitano  Bill O'Reilly  Kathleen Parker  Star Parker  Dennis Prager  Wesley Pruden  Tom Purcell  Sharon Randall  Robert Robb  Cokie & Steve Roberts  Heather Robinson  Pat Sajak  Debra J. Saunders  Martin Schram  Culture Shlock  David Shribman  Roger Simon  Michael Smerconish  Thomas Sowell  Ben Stein  Mark Steyn  John Stossel  Cal Thomas  Dan Thomasson  Bob Tyrrell  Ben Wattenberg  Diana West  Dave Weinbaum  George Will  Walter Williams  Byron York  ZeitGeist  Mort Zuckerman  Robert Arial  Chuck Asay  Baloo  Chip Bok  Dry Bones   Lisa Benson  John Branch  John Cole  J. D. Crowe  John Deering  Brian Duffy  Everything's Relative  Mallard Fillmore  Glenn Foden  Jake Fuller  Bob Gorrel  Joe Heller  David Hitch  Jerry Holbert  Lee Judge  Steve Kelley  Jeff Koterba  Dick Locher  Jimmy Margulies  Rick McKee  Michael Ramirez  Kevin Siers  Jeff Stahler  Ed Stein  Danna Summers  John Trever  Gary Varvel  Kirk Walters  Mr. Know-It-All  Dr. Peter Gott  GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko  Richard Lederer  Frugal Living  Tech Maven  On Nutrition  Bookmark These  Bruce Williams