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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 20, 2010 / 10 Elul, 5770

Baseball Musings

By Greg Crosby



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Dodgers just can't do it. I know it, the Dodgers know it, and Joe Torre knows it. So now that there is about as much chance of the Dodgers winning their division as there is in Barack Obama becoming a born again Christian, we can all just sit back, relax, and watch baseball. The pressure's over and as I sit watching Joe Torre scratching his head and sucking on his lozenges I think his mind is starting to wander. So is mine. I'm not into the games anymore, I'm thinking about other stuff. Stuff like the colors of the uniforms, the logos on the hats, and wondering why it is that ballplayers need to spit all the time and get tattooed so much.

I'm speculating on what will happen to the Dodgers when the McCourts get divorced. When you're rich, community property splits are a little different than they are for just plain folks. It's not just who gets the car and who gets the house; it becomes who gets the baseball club. Chances are the team will probably be sold in the end, but until that time the Dodgers are kind of in the Twilight Zone. Too bad the O'Malley family still doesn't own the team.

Baseball should be a family business or at least have a private owner who loves the game and his team. Corporate ownership is fine for the sheet metal industry or airplane factories, but it doesn't work for baseball. Baseball is too personal, it's a human business, it's a business people get into who really love the game. That's how it should be.

That's why when they name stadiums after corporations it sounds so cold and non-baseball-like. Petco Park, US Cellular Field, Citi Field, Citizens Bank Ballpark, Minute Maid Park these are terrible names for ball parks. Why not just name the stadiums after the teams? You know like Yankee Stadium and Dodger Stadium? I know, I know. The corporate sponsors pay big bucks to get their names up there. Why does every single thing have to hinge on money?

But if it's okay to name a stadium after an orange juice product (Minute Maid Park), what is preventing naming a field after any other company's product? How about Aunt Jemima Stadium? Frosted Flakes Ball Park? Or Preparation H Yard? Why not Huggies Park or Kotex Field? My favorite is Kaopectate Park. You know, that's where you get lots of runs.

Wouldn't it be fun if the baseball clubs named themselves after what their home city is famous for or what it is known for? The Dodgers were originally named the Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers due to the vast network of street car lines criss-crossing the borough as people dodged trains to play on the streets. The name meant something at one time. It makes perfect sense that the Milwaukie Brewers have that name since Milwaukie was known for its breweries. But most teams today have names that don't mean anything anymore.

What do Indian Braves have to do with the city of Atlanta? Better to call them the Atlanta Rebels, Atlanta Confederates or Atlanta Gentlemen. I like the St. Louis Blues, The Boston Beans, and Philadelphia Founders. I think the Chicago Machine is a perfect name for a team in that city - or maybe the Chicago Bosses or the Chicago Mobsters. Arizona should never be a team name. Arizona is a state not a city and we should stick with city names for ball clubs. We might have the Phoenix Flyers harking back to the bird of mythology.

What do you think of a team called the Detroit Gas-guzzlers? Or how about the New York Liberals? Can you imagine a World Series between them and the San Francisco Progressives? The Seattle Espressos is not only an appropriate name, it's euphonious too. Is it just me, or doesn't anyone else see that the perfect name for the Mets since they are located in Flushing, New York would be the Flushing Johns.

The Los Angeles Angels is a pretty good name, too bad the team is in Anaheim. The San Diego Swabbies refers to our large naval base and sounds like each player is batting clean-up. The Los Angeles Agents might work although my preference would be something like the Los Angeles Narcissists which I think truly captures the spirit of our wonderful movie colony folk and the whole California self-awareness thing.

This is pure stream of consciousness. Well, this is what happens to my mind when my team has sunk into the cellar so far down that they're tossing around potatoes, not balls. Like I said, I'm still sitting there watching, but instead of wondering if Ryan Theriot will be getting a base hit, I'm wondering what the hell that little hair-thing is under his lower lip. Listen, you've got to do something to keep your interest going, you know? Ask Joe.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2008, Greg Crosby

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