In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 20, 2013 / 12 Tammuz, 5773

Fathers can't be treated as equal only when convenient

By Cathy Young

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Another Father's Day has passed, with gifts and tributes and reflections on the role of the modern father. Fatherhood is at a crossroads. Millions of dads are involved in hands-on parenting as never before; millions more are absent or nearly absent from their children's lives. Some argue that fathers should reclaim their traditional roles; others say they should embrace new ones. But there are many ways to be a good dad -- and all kinds of fathers need more social support than they currently get.

New research released late last month shows that in nearly one in four married couples with children, the mother is now the primary breadwinner. While stay-at-home dads remain relatively rare, the past 40 years have seen a growing focus on fathers along with the expansion of women's ambitions outside the family and the feminist challenges to traditional views of gender. In the 1980s, there was much excitement about dads who changed diapers, bottle-fed babies and provided nurture as well as discipline.

While some dismissed the "new dad" as a media fad, it is now clear that the change is real. In 1965, according to time-use studies, fathers spent an average of 21/2 hours a week caring for children; that time nearly tripled by 2011 to more than seven hours. Mothers remain the primary caregivers, spending more than 13 hours a week on child care, but the gap is closing.

Are there innate differences that steer more men toward work outside the home and more women toward parenting? Perhaps. But there are also, to this day, powerful social norms that stigmatize men who are not good financial providers. Both women and men, polls show, believe that the best option for the mother of a young child is to work part time and for the father to work full time. Yet, in a recent Pew Research Center poll, about half of working mothers and fathers alike said that they would stay home if they didn't need the income. Twice as many fathers as mothers -- 46 percent to 23 percent -- said they don't get to spend enough time with their children.

Some conservatives have bemoaned the shift in family roles, claiming that the ideal of nurturing fatherhood turns dads into substitute moms and denies them a specifically masculine function. At the other end of the gender-politics spectrum, you might expect involved fathers to find support from the women's movement -- and, to some extent, they have. In 1971, Gloria Steinem wrote that "most American children suffer from too much mother and too little father." Feminist legal reformers pushed for gender-neutral child custody legislation to replace the maternal custody presumption. More recently, feminists have championed equal paternity leave. Unfortunately, feminism's natural alliance with the "new dad" was undermined by knee-jerk solidarity with women in divorce cases. Psychologist Phyllis Chesler's 1986 book, "Mothers on Trial," which vilified fathers who would usurp the mother's role, got an admiring blurb from none other than Steinem. A decade later, the National Organization for Women passed a resolution condemning the fathers' rights movement and comparing dads who fight for their parental rights to batterers who seek to control women. Most feminists still insist that men need to be more involved in child care. But fathers cannot be treated as equal only when convenient.

Some men and women will always gravitate toward traditional roles -- and a traditional dad can certainly be a good and caring father. But the new fatherhood, too, is here to stay. Women, men and children alike need a father-friendly feminism, and a conservatism that supports diverse male and female roles as an essential aspect of individual freedom.


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JWR contributor Cathy Young is a regular contributor to Reason magazine and Newsday. Comment by clicking here.

© 2013, Cathy Young. This originally appeared in Newsday.