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The Power of ‘Just’, Part II
By Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
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"The quality of your life is the quality of your on-going self-talk!" Most people unconsciously engage in internal self-talk, and in this series, best-selling author Rabbi Zelig Pliskin guides the reader to achieve conscious awareness of meandering mental chatter and to transform it into a steady stream of purposeful thought.
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Previously, we discussed some phrases that will overcome distress, accomplish despite difficulties, and experience more joy. We listed them. Now, we'll elaborate.
"Just apologize." Sincerely apologizing is the best way to overcome
the resentment and negative feelings of someone who is angry
with you. However, at times it can be very difficult to apologize.
When you tell yourself, "Just apologize," it can become easier.
If you really did something wrong, you have an obligation to
apologize. At times, it's wisest to apologize even if you aren't really
at fault. Your apology can create harmony. Have the strength and
courage to "just apologize." Your sincere apology will totally calm
some people. Even if you need to apologize a number of times and
find the right things to say each time, your initial apology is still the
first step forward.
"Just ask." You might find it difficult to ask someone a question
or to ask someone to help you out. Telling yourself, "Just ask," might
make it easier. Before saying these two words, you might have been
debating whether or not to ask. Even though you know you have a
right to ask and that it will be beneficial to ask, you feel a bit uncomfortable.
As you say to yourself, "Just ask," you might just go ahead
and actually ask. In most situations you will find that asking is much
easier than you had expected.
"Just be." In some situations you might be trying too hard to
impress others. Or you might be overly concerned with how other
people see you and what they think about you. You might be causing
yourself anxiety and nervousness about how to act and how to
project yourself. "Just be" could be the best advice for you at these
moments. Don't try so hard. Don't be overly concerned. "Just be"
implies that you will just be your real and authentic self. Taking off
the unnecessary pressure will enable you to be your best without
worrying about it.
"Just bliss." When you say, "Just bliss," to yourself, you might
remember how you felt when you experienced blissful feelings in
the past. Your mind will access blissful times and moments from
your life. Or you might create blissful feelings now, without recalling
any specific incidents of being blissful.
As long as you've actually experienced bliss at any time and in
any context, right now you might be able to create blissful feelings.
You might find that saying these words only a few times won't
change your feelings. But if you close your eyes and calmly repeat,
"Just bliss," many times, you might be able to create these feelings.
This is especially beneficial before praying. When you allow yourself
to experience bliss before communicating with the Almighty, it will
greatly add to your spiritual experiences.
"Just breathe." You are always breathing throughout the day.
Sometimes you are not aware of your breathing. You aren't thinking
about it and breathing is not on your conscious mind. But awareness
of your breathing enables you to feel a greater amount of gratitude
to the Creator for His benevolence and kindness in giving you an
abundance of oxygen to keep you alive and well.
Telling yourself, "Just breathe," can be especially helpful when
you are anxious or angry. Breathing slowly and deeply melts anxiety
and anger. First of all, by focusing on your breathing instead of on
the cause of your anxiety or anger, you are not adding to the distressing
feelings. Your mind and body work together. So when you
consciously breathe slowly and deeply, your brain accesses a calmer
state of mind. This also enables you to think with greater clarity.
"Just breathe" can be good advice to calm your nerves right before
you take a test. Your memory will function at a higher level.
More tomorrow