• The College Football Playoffs semifinals occur on New Year's Eve between Alabama, Ohio State, Clemson and Washington. There is an astounding total of forty-one bowl games between eighty-two teams in December. The Electoral College is the only college not playing in a bowl game this year.
• Dr. Henry J. Heimlich who entered the medical history books by devising the famous anti-choking hold known as the Heimlich Maneuver, died in Cincinnati Sunday. He was ninety-six. Sadly, Heimlich died before he could save any of the members of the Democratic National Committee.
• Democrats staged a final effort to persuade GOP Electoral College voters to abandon Trump Monday. They needn't worry. Trump's will be like any other presidency, the generals won't let him do anything that hurts the country and Congress won't let him do anything that helps the country.
Donald Trump was elected president by the Electoral College Monday. It's placed the crow on the endangered species list because Democrats and pundits are eating so much crow it's threatening the bird's population. Thank goodness that someone's doing something to get rid of those noisy crows.
• Bill Clinton was shown on camera Monday leading New York's slate of faithful electors to the state capitol in Albany to vote for Hillary Clinton. You can't make it up. The year that began with Hillary Clinton being called America's next president is ending with Bill Clinton being called faithful.
• President Obama handed out seventy-five pardons and one hundred fifty commuted sentences for federal prisoners Monday. He's issued about twelve hundred commutations, most of them life sentences. On release, each prisoner receives a suit, some cash and an Oakland Raiders season ticket.
• Donald Trump wrapped up his Thank You Tour in Mobile, Alabama, Saturday where he vowed to halt illegal immigration and build the wall. He's not kidding around. Donald Trump finalized his cabinet picks Monday by appointing Mexico's President Enrique Nino Piete the Minister of De-Fence.
• Donald Trump will take office on Inauguration Day tasked with keeping his promises to repeal Obamacare, cut business taxes, cut income taxes, build the wall, rebuild the U.S. military and destroying ISIS. That's not the tough part. He has to do it all in one-hundred-forty characters or less.
• President Obama held his final press conference of the year Friday before he goes on vacation to Hawaii. He sounded buoyant. Barack Obama came outside on Friday morning and saw that he was still president, and traditionally that means six more weeks of light interviews on late-night TV.
• President Obama vowed retaliation on the Russians for hacking into the DNC e-mails and revealing how Hillary's campaign cheated Bernie Sanders out of the nominations. To me, it verifies the Old Testament God. Every time one of the Clintons screws a Jewish person, all hell breaks loose.
• Hillary Clinton gave a speech on Thursday blaming the Russians for her defeat. An unknown hacker outed DNC e-mails which revealed how Hillary's people sabotaged Bernie Sanders in the primaries. It was the second time in history that a Clinton presidency was derailed by a whistle-blower.
• Hillary Clinton enjoyed a pasta dinner at Rao's Italian restaurant in New York Tuesday. Her appetite is legendary. Even though Hillary lost the swing states, she lost the recount and she lost in the Electoral College, she still has a path to two hundred and seventy, but it's with a knife and fork.
• FBI Director Jim Comey was blamed for Hillary's defeat because he blasted Hillary for using a private server for U.S. business and for erasing thousands of e-mails. She's still oblivious. Hillary sent out an e-mail Friday inviting you to share classified information with ten friends for good luck.
• An FBI agent admitted leaking details about the probe into Phil Mickelson's insider trading in Clorox stock. A Mormon pro golfer from La Jolla invested in a product that makes things whiter. Trump just delayed the wall until after he gives the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Phil Mickelson.
• Donald Trump gave his third nationally televised speech in one week in Alabama on Saturday night. He's been totally dominating the media for eighteen months. The other day the Golden Globes came out and people were surprised it had nothing to do with nude photos of Melania Trump.
• Vladimir Putin laughed off charges he tampered with the U.S. election Thursday. It'd be one of the few times he was ever innocent. This year, three men in Moscow were arrested for the murder of Russian dissident Boris Nemsitov, and they're the three guys ahead of Putin in his racquetball league.
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