Time magazine revealed that Hillary Clinton finished second to Donald Trump in the editorial board's voting for Person of the Year. It never ends. When Hillary heard she finished second to Trump again, she hiked so far back into the woods she's on the next three episodes of Duck Dynasty.
• Michael Moore called on progressives to demonstrate every day of the Trump presidency and interrupt every one of his events. It's approaching Trump derangement syndrome. If it quiets down all the protests, perhaps the Federal Budget should include a participation trophy for the Democrats.
• LeBron James declared Tuesday he and his fellow Cleveland Cavaliers will not stay in Trump-owned hotels in New York City. James made it into the record books last year when he returned to the Cavaliers after four years in Miami. He is the first man in history ever to move back to Cleveland.
• Senate Democrats couldn't wait to unload on Donald Trump's choice of cabinet nominees last week. The confirmation hearings promise to be really colorful. Senator Elizabeth Warren delivered a savage attack on Trump Wednesday, although you couldn't put it that way if she were a real Indian.
• Donald Trump named a third general to his cabinet Wednesday and afterwards he summoned Oklahoma’s legendary football coach Barry Switzer up to Trump Tower for a meeting. Saddle up, boys. Donald Trump doesn’t just want to defeat ISIS, he wants to beat them by fifty points a game.
• ISIS stepped up its campaign to oppress its residents in western Syria Friday. ISIS reportedly threatened to cut off the hand of anyone they catch using their cell phones in a movie theater. It shows even a crazy, violent radical terrorist group can come up with a great idea every now and then.
• The White House announced a new education initiative designed to provide computer science classes in every school. Well, it’s a start. When it comes to computer science we’re like a Third World country trying to show the world that someday we’ll be able to hack our own national elections.
• Joe Biden was cornered by reporters as the vice president was leaving the Senate Chamber on Monday and they got Joe to admit he’s running for president in four years. You can never quite be sure how serious he is. Last weekend Joe Biden lost his train of thought, and there were no survivors.
• The California Assembly proposed a bill Monday to protect illegal aliens from being deported by President Trump by creating a sanctuary state. The next day, illegal immigrants told CNN that they were determined to stay in America and live free. All they have to do now is qualify for disability.
• The New York Times revealed that Bob Dole was the one who arranged for the president of Taiwan to call Donald Trump last week. He’s been in a fog a long time. Bob Dole is the guy who twenty years ago agreed to endorse Viagra because he thought it would help him achieve an election.
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