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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review December 12, 2013 / 9 Teves, 5774

Will Eggs Become Obsolete?

By Danny Tyree





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the unemployment office.

That joke may come true, if Josh Tetrick, founder of the San Francisco-based startup company Hampton Creek Foods, has his way.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Tetrick regards eggs as a victim of their own success - too wildly popular (1.8 trillion laid globally each year) to be sustainable. Tetrick (backed by investors such as Bill Gates) is pouring Manhattan Project-like resources into perfecting a plant-based protein product that he predicts will make eggs obsolete.

One of my earliest, dearest memories is of watching a baby chick hatch in the loft of my parents' barn, so the article certainly caught my interest.

Tetrick denounces a natural product once advertised as "the incredible, edible egg" largely because the production of poultry feed is supposedly a vastly inefficient use of resources such as land, water and fossil fuel.

Thank goodness we still have a few inefficient things in this fast-paced world. Our election system is inefficient, but Tetrick and his backers would probably rather not be told, "Thank you for donating your invention to the state, comrades."



And our hit-and-miss courtship rituals are hardly textbook examples of productivity. But unless Tetrick won his wife by paying her father three yaks and a case of eggless protein goop, maybe he should stop crowing the virtues of efficiency.

I cannot fault Tetrick's humanitarian goal of providing protein for hungry people in emerging nations, but the way he simultaneously rides the coattails of and disses eggs in particular grates on my nerves.

It's like a supermarket chain executive at a ribbon cutting announcing to the world, "Our new self-service lane means only an idiot would turn to Employee of the Month Joe Shlabotnik for help. Self-service lane, we need a cleanup on Aisle 7. I said, self-service lane -oh pooh!"

I remember when protein production was just a one-on-one matter of my bachelor uncle Vernon and his amazing rapport with his hens. Oblivious to adages such as "Too many cooks spoil the broth," Tetrick has turned the project over to a battalion of biochemists, food scientists and software engineers. Waiting in the wings are a community organizer and a soybean whisperer.

How times change! I shudder to think of the rich tradition of eggs being consigned to the dust heap of history. What will we do without Easter eggs, Humpty Dumpty, "egg on his face," "egghead" and countless other cultural references?

Once Tetrick disproves "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs," I fear the power-mad entrepreneur will be seen leading horses to water and laughing maniacally as he forces the poor equines to drink.

Who am I kidding? The more things change, the more they stay the same. One of our distant ancestors had to be the first person to decide to eat that white, shelled object that came out of a chicken's rear, and now we're on the verge of serving as human guinea pigs as we ingest experimental witches' brews that could have side effects coming out the wazoo.

Things seem bleak for eggs, but I beg the industry to hang in there.

"Rage, rage against the dying of the brooder light. Do not go OVER EASY into that good night."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Mr. Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said his mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock." Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps. A lifelong small-town southerner, he graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications.



Previously:


Doctor Who: A Fiftieth Anniversary Primer

The Martians Were Coming, The Martians Were Coming

Are Pigs Smarter Than Dogs? And Should We Care?

America, Let's Be #1 At Corruption

Free College Tuition? Read The Fine Print

Independence Day: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Typos

Let's Have More Wrist Slap Punishments

Father's Day: Can It Survive?

© 2013, Danny Tyree

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