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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review December 18, 2013/ 15 Teves, 5774

Life makes perfect sense when you are a grandmother

By Susan Reimer




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Faithful readers of this column know that years ago, when my children were successfully out of diapers, we would send them for a week in the summer to their grandparents in Pittsburgh.

It's not like my husband and I went to a Sandals resort during that week. He was usually traveling to cover the NFL, and I would use the week to go to work on my schedule instead of theirs.

Joe and Jessie never asked to do anything while at Grandma and Grandpa's. No petting zoos. No carnivals. They would just lie in bed and watch cartoons on their own personal televisions, play and eat. Grandma would make piles of mashed potatoes and gravy for Joe, and there were ice cream sundaes for breakfast for Jessie.

At the end of the week, when Grandma and Grandpa returned them to us, their cheeks were fuller and their clothes were all clean.

My husband and I are the grandparents now, and the Fabulous Mikey came to stay with us. For a week we recreated a time whose passing we grieved. Mikey, almost 3 and successfully out of diapers, didn't want to do anything except watch cartoons, play and eat.

For me, it was a chance to have a week like I never had with my own toddlers. No schedule, no agenda, nothing to accomplish. One of the joys of grandparenthood is that the raising of the children is now someone else's responsibility. We are just in charge of nonsense.

But something else happened during that week that I did not expect. I saw my life now in a different way. My nest is not empty. It is simply filled with different things.

Mobility and flexibility, to begin. Going anywhere with Mikey, as was the case with my own children, is like trying to launch a circus into space during a window in earth's rotation. Miss that window, and you are sunk.



Thinking and contemplation are also kind of impossible around children, as is eating a quiet meal. My head is clearer now, and I can enjoy the challenges of my work instead of feeling the guilty tug of my sweet obligations at home.

My husband and I are no longer oxen in a yoke, pulling the wagon. We can talk to each other across a restaurant table without having to cut anyone's meat. He is more interesting than I remembered.

I also regard menopause with new appreciation for the wisdom of nature. It is not barrenness or lifelessness. It is not a curse or a loss. It makes perfect sense. Although we could all do without the hot flashes.

I used to tell young mothers not to chafe at the confinements of toddler-dom. "Your life is out there waiting for you and it will be there when your children are grown," I would say. "And when you get there, you will want nothing more than to have these days back."

I don't think quite that way anymore. This is my life. It is not a life bereft of children, certainly not with the Fabulous Mikey in the world. It is not an empty life. I have not lost anything, and nothing is missing.

It is my life as it is now. Everywhere I look, I can see some aspect of this childlessness that is worthy of appreciation, and I have resolved not to waste the present wishing for the past.

After a week, it was time to send Mikey back. He left me with a head cold, of course. I used to say that kids get sick, wear you down taking care of them, give you the germs and then watch in triumph when you are rendered helpless with coughing and fever.

But when I sent him home to his mother, all his clothes were clean, and his cheeks were fuller.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Susan Reimer is a columnist for The Baltimore Sun. Comment by clicking here.


Previously:

Saving for retirement an accidental win

Doctors urged to press parents on children’s electronic media use

Vacations and dreams of a deeply disturbed person

Kim and Kanye, the latest to put marriage last

Everybody with a Twitter handle is now a meddlesome aunt to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

Keep your friends close, your enemies on a list

After all these years, relearning 'please' and 'thank you'

Fooling Mother Nature: still not a good idea

Baby Boomer: Looking at retirement, not facing reality

A chance purchase connected a woman to someone who changed her life profoundly, though they never met

Relocation starts to split up the old gang

Remember this: We all forget things

‘Superjobs’ leaving us super-stressed

On entitlements, younger generation has its say

Missing the good old days of the Cold War

Friends can be risky business for teens

In Social Security reports, a story of women's priorities

One soon-to-be grandmother's advice about sweating the small stuff

In my family's universe, I am not a star

Is America ready for a new ‘life stage’?

Paying for good behavior is worth every penny

He's on vacation, but she needs a break

Conan says what we wish we could

Body image issues get a new meaning

A spreadsheet for happiness? Thanks, but I'll take the wine



© 2013, The Baltimore Sun. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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