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Jewish World Review
December 6, 2012/ 22 Kislev, 5773
Lindsay Lohan needs to be ignored
By
Barry Koltnow
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT)
To err in private is human. To err in public is celebrity.
By definition, celebrities do everything in public. Their triumphs are public, and their failures are public. It's all out there for us to observe and mock.
And no discussion of celebrity mockery would be complete without Lindsay Lohan.
I try to avoid the subject whenever possible, but she forced my hand with her arrest early Thursday morning in New York City for allegedly punching a woman in a nightclub. This follows her troubles last summer when she was accused of lying to police after a traffic accident in Malibu. Oh, why do I bother to list her arrests? She's been a menace to society for the last seven years.
But this column is not about her brushes with the law. It is about the widespread enabling of the 26-year-old actress' pathetic bids for attention.
And it all starts with Lohan's acting talent, such as it is.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone in Hollywood or in the media make excuses for the actress because of her "potential." People are constantly harping about Lohan's acting talent, and what a tragedy it is that her off-screen troubles are interfering in what could be an award-winning career.
But I think it's time to put that lie to rest.
Her unconvincing performance as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime movie "Liz and Dick" finally convinced the public what I've been saying for years … Lohan is not as good as you thought.
She once possessed a talent worth watching, but how long ago was that? My guess is that "Herbie Fully Loaded" in 2005 was the last time she showed any acting skills, and even then, it was minimal. I suggest we go back a year before that, to the 2004 film "Mean Girls" when we saw the potential first seen in the 1998 film "The Parent Trap," in which a very young Lohan played twins.
Lohan, in case you are familiar only with her rap sheet, has been a show business professional since the age of 3, when she was signed by the Ford modeling agency and began making commercials. At 10, she was a regular on the daytime soap "Another World."
She was adorable. She was a good actress. And she had a raspy voice that belied her tender years.
Then the troubles started. The reasons for her descent from promising actress to tabloid queen are many, and obvious. Volumes could be written on her dysfunctional parents … Michael and Dina … and their roles in ruining their daughter. But, at some point, their adult daughter has to be held accountable for her own actions.
With her acting career in decline … her last theatrical movie was in the 2010 film "Machete," in which her acting consisted of baring her breasts … she has relied on her real-life troubles to maintain her public profile.
Contrary to popular belief, I don't think she's out of control. I think she knows exactly what she's doing. When your contract says you aren't supposed to drive, and then you're involved in a traffic accident, that's intentional. When you're facing criminal charges in another state, and you allow yourself to be in a nightclub at 4 a.m., it's intentional.
Yes, I believe the actress courts trouble, and she has accomplices.
Her first accomplice is the media, and you don't have to say it. By writing this column, I am participating in her attention-grabbing crimes. I throw myself on the mercy of Liz Taylor, who is probably still spinning in her grave.
The media can't get enough of the young woman. They smell a story whenever Lohan ventures out in public, and she usually obliges them. When she was photographed Thursday morning emerging from a police station hiding under a coat, I am guessing that she was chuckling under there. Either that, or she didn't have time for hair and makeup and felt she didn't look her best. But I'll stick with the former. She's laughing all the way to her arraignment.
Photographers and tabloid editors don't chase celebrities who can't make money for them. If you've ever been on a red carpet, you've seen how photographers routinely ignore celebrities who can't make them money. They will lower their cameras when a B-lister walks by, and look down the carpet for a more suitable celebrity. Hollywood is a tough place, and money talks.
And the celebrities that make money for the paparazzi and tabloids are the celebrities in demand by the public. You can't point fingers at the actress and the media that follows her without looking in the mirror.
I'm not putting all the blame on you, but until you stop slowing down to gawk at the red-haired train wreck, Lindsay Lohan will continue to get the attention she desperately craves.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment on Barry Koltnow's column by clicking here.
Previously:
Red Dawn' remake reflects China's box-office pull
Fall movie season ends with lessons learned
The 10 best Bond villains ever
Readers weigh in on confusing movies
10 most confusing movies of all time
Do you enjoy going out to the movies?
Sylvester Stallone, the Dalai Lama and me
Watch August movies at your own risk
Nothing new in the new Spider-Man movie
Grading the summer movies . . . so far
Readers are angry about TV network practices, too
TV networks have some explaining to do
The night Johnny Depp made me a star
Summer movies: the dark horses
Lindsay, Ashton, Kim --- are they kidding?
Readers pick their favorite baseball movies
Our 10 favorite baseball movies
The most over-hyped movies of 2012
The 10 worst best pictures ever
The greatest Oscar acceptance speech NEVER given
The worst biopics ... ever
20 celebrity questions that must be answered in 2012
The Golden Globes are meaningless
The 10 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2011
The funniest comedy teams
Fake celebrities ignite real controversy
Hollywood: Stop spoiling our movies
Mob expert reveals his favorite gangster flicks
Good riddance, Harry Potter
The coolest car movies ever made
Our favorite teacher movies
Are women funny?
Our special snarky summer movie guide
The 10 most pressing show biz questions
Readers weigh in on the royal wedding
The royal wedding: I don't get it
Readers reach verdict on lawyer column
Our favorite lawyer movies ever
Readers pick their worst Oscar winners
The 10 worst best pictures ever
25 hit-man movies to die for
The 10 greatest sidekicks ever
The 10 biggest celebrity missteps of 2010
Who's cooler than Steve McQueen? (Answer: nobody)
The best revenge movies ever
The good old days, when celebrities weren't train wrecks
Making sport of celebrities
Youth will be served? Don't give me that trash!
A celebrity answer is no answer at all
Caution: geniuses at work
© 2010, The Orange County Register; Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
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