Jewish World Review Dec. 9, 2011 / 13 Kislev, 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight when he couldn't stop playing Words with Friends on his iPhone Tuesday. You can tell baby boomers are getting older. First we went to rehab for alcohol, then drugs, then sexual addiction and now crossword puzzles.
President Obama told a Kansas crowd that America's principles of free markets and rugged individualism have never worked. He cast himself as the savior of the middle class. He won't be satisfied until Tim Tebow gives credit to him after every completed pass.
The Green Bay Packers sold stock in the team for two hundred fifty dollars per share Tuesday. The stock yields no dividends, can't be sold or traded, and gets you no game tickets. It's a better-yielding long-term investment to drink beer and save the cans.
President Obama's daughters and their classmates were served a special Japanese meal at school on Pearl Harbor Day. That's a bit much. Someone must stop this school before they take the kids to Der Wienerschnitzel to mark the first night of Hanukkah with strudel.
Germany got French approval on Tuesday for allowing German banks to dictate the rules to solve the EU debt crisis. Europe's new rules are now written in German. Life magazine has a picture on the cover of a German sailor kissing a girl on the streets of Paris.
The White House asked the Senate to re-think its unanimous vote to slap sanctions on Iran Wednesday, causing senators to rip the administration for coddling the Islamic Republic This is just the tip of the iceberg. In six months we'll find out that the Justice Department has sold nuclear weapons to Iran in a secret effort to track down the kingpins.
FAA head Randy Babbitt resigned after his arrest Saturday for drunken driving and for driving on the wrong side of the road. He was in charge of U.S. air safety. We can't have somebody like Randy Babbitt telling Alec Baldwin he's a danger to public safety.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton