Jewish World Review Dec. 7, 2011 / 11 Kislev, 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Congress approved a bill legalizing the sale of horse meat for human consumption in the United States Friday. The marketing transition was fast. The Roy Rogers Museum in Apple Valley now has a statue of Bob's Big Boy out front holding up the statue of Trigger.
Warren Buffett put up two hundred million dollars to buy the Omaha World Herald newspaper Monday. The guy's not kidding around. He's publicly vowed that he will never give his fortune to his children so he's decided to invest it in newspapers until it's all gone.
The Wall Street Journal reports huge merchandise sales online beginning with Black Monday. People stayed home and bought six billion dollars in goods last week. The steep discounting is hurting retailers so badly that Macy's just went to Congress and asked to be recognized as an Indian tribe so they can open a bingo room in the men's department.
True Value Hardware stores reported selling out of incandescent light bulbs Monday ahead of the upcoming ban. In January compact fluorescent bulbs will be the law of the land. Colombian farmers just began growing their first crop of light bulbs you can read by.
Peru declared a state of emergency Monday over protesters opposed to a new gold mine owned by a U.S. company. They fear the gold will pollute their water supply. When they saw those hardhats on U.S. miners they had a nasty flashback to conquistador helmets.
The NAACP announced plans to fight new voting laws in Southern states designed to keep illegal aliens from voting next year. It's a mystery why the NAACP is sticking up for illegal aliens. Los Angeles schools are segregated just to keep them from killing each other.
Germany and France agreed on a French plan to end the EU debt crisis Monday. The plan is backed by German banks and severely punishes any nation than spends three percent more than it makes. Germany allowed France to call it the French plan because a lot more Europeans have forgotten about Napoleon than they have, well, you-know-who.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton