In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

When women shop, expectations usually out of stock

By Gina Barreca

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) I wanted to buy a T-shirt saying "Does this T-shirt make me look fat?" — except it was too small.

It was my most recent low self-esteem holiday shopping moment. Women have a lot of low self-esteem shopping moments thrust upon them by smart-alecky store mirrors and inner demons.

This is especially true when the mirrors are positioned under hideous fluorescent lighting, thereby giving our flesh the seductive texture of pot cheese and our skin the greenish glow of Area 51. Under such conditions, women like Natalie Portman catch themselves looking bucktoothed and cross-eyed. Had Kim Kardashian glimpsed herself unawares in a bad full-length mirror at Kohl's, she would have stayed married, fearful that no other guy would ever look at her.

This explains why, if you observe women trying on shoes, for example, you'll see us playing with our hair when we look in the mirror. We're trying on shoes but not looking at our feet. It's as if smoothing our bangs will somehow make a pair of ankle boots look better. We'll fluff our ponytail when buying a bracelet. Female CIA officers probably tuck a stray lock or two behind their ears when trying on hazmat suits. This is all part of an elaborate effort to distract ourselves while attempting to preserve a semblance of composure and self-reliance.

Is it such a surprise, really? After all, there's not much we can do about our jaw line or height, not, at least, before somebody else sneaks into the mirror in front of us.

Men don't do this. Men don't torture themselves this way. Most straight men, for example, have never even tried on a T-shirt.

They walk into Odd Lot, Job Lot or some other store with "Lot" in the title, go directly to the bin where 2,000 blue shirts are folded by size, hold one up to the light, look at it, say "It's big enough. It'll fit." They then buy four of them and leave.

They're dressed for the year.

The only time guys are forced to go out and buy new T-shirts is after some woman has discarded the T-shirts they've had since high school, the ones with the gaping, shredded holes under the armpits. When they discover the loss of these garments, they become as histrionic as Hamlet when he discovered his mother married his uncle.

Men do not perform acts of self-assessment, self-actualization, atonement, penance or exorcism during their shopping trips. That's because men see stores as, well, "stores" and not shrines or palaces of judgment. For men, stores are places where products are available for purchase, and some of these products are designed just for them.

Women, in contrast, want to fit ourselves into the shapes and sizes we're told we should be. Women also try to be worthy of the item we want to purchase. This kind of insecurity has, I believe, kept us from being elected to the highest of political offices: Deep down inside, an intelligent and accomplished woman can still wonder whether she is good enough for a Chanel suit.

This is sad. This is a woman who will not be trusted to make decisions concerning the tactical use of nuclear weaponry.

We need to do better. We need to stop trying to fit ourselves into the world and start making sure the world begins to fit us.

Just think about how many women you've heard announce, especially around this time of year, "Ooh, I want to fit into a size 10, a size 6, a sub-zero by New Year's!"

You've never heard a guy say "I want to be a 42 short by Christmas."

Men practice self-acceptance. That's why it's difficult to insult men. You can say to a man "Fred, I personally will buy you a new jacket so I don't have to see that particular herringbone pattern anymore," and Fred, with a grin, will reply "Bought it in '92. Still fits. I can't button it, but still." He's not upset. He sees your remark as a compliment.

Apparently some men feel about their wardrobe the way they feel about a stack of 30-year Treasury bills: The less they do with it, the better.

Let's celebrate the season by banishing inner demons and ignoring unflattering mirrors. After all, they're no reflection on us.

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Gina Barreca is a columnist for The Hartford Courant.

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