Jewish World Review Dec. 30, 2010 / 23 Teves, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Hawaii's governor sought to release Obama's birth certificate Monday. Hawaii's privacy laws prevent releasing it without Obama's consent. California has a law just like it and that's why actors can play high school students until they are forty.
Budweiser heir August Busch is under probe after a second girlfriend in twenty years died at his home under suspicious circumstances. He really looks guilty. In this year's Super Bowl commercial, Al Cowlings will be driving the team of Clydesdales.
Hillary Clinton was named the Most Admired Woman in America in the Gallup Poll for the ninth straight year. It's her title for two more decades. With Hugh Hefner setting the pace for her husband, public sympathy for Hillary Clinton will never end.
Hugh Hefner announced Monday he will marry twenty-two-year-old blonde playmate Crystal Harris. Imagine his utter joy. Under Los Angeles law, the older a man is than his wife, the closer he's allowed to sit near Jack Nicholson at the Lakers games.
WikiLeaks' Julian Assange got a million-dollar book deal Monday. It's to fund his website and pay his legal bills for rape charges. He can't very well reveal his data-gathering secrets, so it's expected to be an illustrated book of wrestling holds.
California Governor-elect Jerry Brown fired the state lottery director Tuesday in Sacramento. he wants his own man in the job. He's married now, unlike the first time he was governor, and his wife is tired of losing on those scratchers every week.
U.S. Customs arrested a man landing at L.A. Airport with fourteen pounds of cocaine disguised as Easter eggs. You've never seen a Beverly Hills Easter egg hunt. The kids stand by and watch while the parents run frantically around looking for the eggs.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton