Jewish World Review Dec. 29, 2010 / 22 Teves, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
New York completely shut down Monday after a driving blizzard closed all three airports. The canceled flights stranded everybody. Airline employees went through the terminal with forty thousand blankets and within an hour they'd sold all of them.
The NFL postponed Sunday's Eagles game with the Vikings due to the blizzard. It would have been Brett Favre's last game. He'd have been so brittle due to the cold he could have gotten his head knocked off, which is exactly how Ted Williams ended up.
Haiti erupted in rioting over the cholera epidemic Monday as roaming street mobs lynched voodoo priests from trees and lampposts. It's a familiar story. When the witch doctors stopped taking Medicare patients the seniors didn't take it so well.
Homeland Security arrested a man at Los Angeles Airport trying to enter the U.S. with fourteen pounds of cocaine disguised as Easter eggs. That distorts the Easter message. This doesn't say that he is risen, this says that he's been up for four days.
Hawaii's Governor Neil Abercrombie vowed Monday to release President Obama's birth records. Obama spent his youth moving from Hawaii to Indonesia to Los Angeles and then to Harvard. Every step of his life took him further and further away from America.
Scenic Traveler RV Center in Wisconsin reported a twenty-five percent increase in the sale of Recreational Vehicles in the last six months. It's a smart economic decision by consumers. Bankers can't foreclose on something they can't catch.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton