Jewish World Review Dec. 6, 2010 / 29 Kislev, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama enlisted Colin Powell Wednesday to persuade the Senate to pass a treaty with Russia limiting nuclear weapons. They're obsolete. Who needs nuclear weapons when we can destroy any country in the world just by defaulting on our Treasury bonds?
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange tried to hide in London from a Swedish arrest warrant Friday. He's nuts if he thinks he can hide in Britain. London's covered by so many surveillance cameras it makes U.S. airport security look like the cold shoulder.
General Electric was revealed in Federal Reserve documents to have gotten a secret bailout from the U.S. government. That explains the news bias. Last night NBC reported that President Obama's economic policies have failed to fix the economy, but in a good way.
Congressman Charlie Rangel addressed the House Thursday after he was censured for ethics violations. He said he wasn't going to blame anybody, then he blamed his staff. He won a medal in the Korean War for throwing a subordinate onto a grenade.
President Obama delayed his Hawaii Christmas vacation two days after returning from Asia and Europe. He's spent two years blowing through other people's money and traveling the world first-class. If Zsa Zsa Gabor ever dies, the torch has been passed.
Bill Clinton failed to convince the World Soccer Federation in Zurich to allow the U.S. to host the World Cup Wednesday. He made the pitch but his heart wasn't in it. Bill Clinton doesn't have much interest in any sport where you can't use your hands.
NASA scientists discovered life made from toxic chemicals in a California lake bed. It's the first organism that can thrive and survive with arsenic in its cell component. It will be mixed with chocolate and marketed as a Kremlin after-dinner mint.
Vladimir Putin told Larry King Tuesday he'd mobilize forces if Russia wasn't in the missile defense shield. He's a classic Russian leader. Putin's love for mankind heats up the planet by two degrees annually, a phenomenon also known as global warming.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton